-Note- This is an essay I had to do for school. I just want to know what you all think before I turn it in. Please critique!
I Wonder Why…
The tears fell like a gentle rain down my cheeks and onto the tree branches. I heard my name being called, but I did not answer. I adjusted myself in the tree so no one could see me. She called louder, worry increasing in her voice. I bit my lip to keep from slipping. I peered over a thick branch and saw my closest friend running across the field into the chapel. I knew she was worried about me. I had slipped out the door unnoticed, or so I thought. I repositioned myself so I was more comfortable, although more noticeable. I could not help but seclude myself. How could it be it had come to this? Where had I gone wrong? I looked to the Heavens and whispered through my tears.
“Have I failed You? You placed me here to do Your works, and yet I have failed You. I tried, I really did, but I suppose that was not good enough.” I sighed. “But what would work? What would make them listen? I have my lost my voice here. They no longer listen to my words.” With ease, I swung myself to a lower branch and pondered for a moment. “But then, that must be how You feel. You must get so frustrated with us because we do not listen to You, even though deep inside we know that You are the Truth and the Light and all You are asking for is love. Why do we push You away?” I jumped from the tree and walked beneath the golden glow of the lamplight. The curtain of night was falling in its place. Several stars decorated the velvet sky.
I walked along the sidewalk, retracing my steps several times. The ground was chilled on my calloused feet. So many questions danced in my head, but only One held the answers. Would He give them freely? “I try to talk to them. I use Your word, and yet they push it away. I fear that if Your grace does not intervene, my friends could very well perish before me eyes. I do not want that, and I know You do not want that either. I have seen too much hurt and have felt too much regret for turning back now.” I sat at the base of the lamppost. “Sometimes I just want to give up all hope and leave them, but then I think, God would not desert us when we seem hopeless, when we have given up on Him, so why should I give up on them? Why does it seem I am alone when You are next to me? Why is it I feel empty when You fill up my heart?” I sighed and stood up again.
I placed my ear against the large, sanctuary doors and heard nothing. I gently pulled the doors open and walked into the dark sanctuary. I walked down the aisle. I never felt so alone, and yet so full at the same time. It was a strange feeling, but not a foreign one. I walked slowly to the front of the church, my eyes closed. I have found that when I am alone in the sanctuary, it is as if I feel and hear the past prayers of people. I leaned against the altar at the front, my hands folded in front of me. I lowered my head to my chest and begun a prayer at a whisper.
“Lord, please help them. Help me to help them. I cannot stand by to watch them die. I need Your help, now more than ever.” The tears fell like leaves in the fall and collected on the wooden altar. I raised my voice, almost to a scream. “Don’t let them fall, let them come back to You.” My tears increased as did the level of my voice. I lost all feeling in my legs, weak from many stressful nights, and dropped to my knees. I felt a warm light surround me and my lips turn upward. I silently whispered. “I wonder why people cannot accept You…..”
I Wonder Why…
The tears fell like a gentle rain down my cheeks and onto the tree branches. I heard my name being called, but I did not answer. I adjusted myself in the tree so no one could see me. She called louder, worry increasing in her voice. I bit my lip to keep from slipping. I peered over a thick branch and saw my closest friend running across the field into the chapel. I knew she was worried about me. I had slipped out the door unnoticed, or so I thought. I repositioned myself so I was more comfortable, although more noticeable. I could not help but seclude myself. How could it be it had come to this? Where had I gone wrong? I looked to the Heavens and whispered through my tears.
“Have I failed You? You placed me here to do Your works, and yet I have failed You. I tried, I really did, but I suppose that was not good enough.” I sighed. “But what would work? What would make them listen? I have my lost my voice here. They no longer listen to my words.” With ease, I swung myself to a lower branch and pondered for a moment. “But then, that must be how You feel. You must get so frustrated with us because we do not listen to You, even though deep inside we know that You are the Truth and the Light and all You are asking for is love. Why do we push You away?” I jumped from the tree and walked beneath the golden glow of the lamplight. The curtain of night was falling in its place. Several stars decorated the velvet sky.
I walked along the sidewalk, retracing my steps several times. The ground was chilled on my calloused feet. So many questions danced in my head, but only One held the answers. Would He give them freely? “I try to talk to them. I use Your word, and yet they push it away. I fear that if Your grace does not intervene, my friends could very well perish before me eyes. I do not want that, and I know You do not want that either. I have seen too much hurt and have felt too much regret for turning back now.” I sat at the base of the lamppost. “Sometimes I just want to give up all hope and leave them, but then I think, God would not desert us when we seem hopeless, when we have given up on Him, so why should I give up on them? Why does it seem I am alone when You are next to me? Why is it I feel empty when You fill up my heart?” I sighed and stood up again.
I placed my ear against the large, sanctuary doors and heard nothing. I gently pulled the doors open and walked into the dark sanctuary. I walked down the aisle. I never felt so alone, and yet so full at the same time. It was a strange feeling, but not a foreign one. I walked slowly to the front of the church, my eyes closed. I have found that when I am alone in the sanctuary, it is as if I feel and hear the past prayers of people. I leaned against the altar at the front, my hands folded in front of me. I lowered my head to my chest and begun a prayer at a whisper.
“Lord, please help them. Help me to help them. I cannot stand by to watch them die. I need Your help, now more than ever.” The tears fell like leaves in the fall and collected on the wooden altar. I raised my voice, almost to a scream. “Don’t let them fall, let them come back to You.” My tears increased as did the level of my voice. I lost all feeling in my legs, weak from many stressful nights, and dropped to my knees. I felt a warm light surround me and my lips turn upward. I silently whispered. “I wonder why people cannot accept You…..”
