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 Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:17 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 9:31 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:56 am
This is pretty well thought out. I like the whole effect of it actually being like short story. I would give it a 6.8 out of 10 because sometimes to much detail can hurt a poem. I noticed as Random NaySayer pointed out, that there are some lists. I felt the first time it was ok because it gave it detail, but after that it felt to me a little to repetitive. Good job though. I like a nice little horror story with some "poetic justice".
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 7:50 am
It was a good poem, and very detailed, but details were repeated which made it seem fluffed up. I personally didn't think never saying his name in the poem was bad and thought it actually made the poem better. Not naming him just made him seem more set on his revenge than anything else... or maybe I'm just weird, but that's how I saw it xp . Anyways, I thought it was good overall and provided an enjoyable read.
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