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I really can't tell you how tired I am of hearing my mom say that to me. Whatever we talk about, girls, boys, hair, clothes, friends, life, likes, dislikes, television...it all comes down to: "Why do you want to be a boy??"

Honestly, I don't want to be a boy. I really like being a girl. Just a mannish girl. Is that so wrong? I showed her pictures of what I want my hair to look like in the future and she started freaking out. She told me no reputable person would ever give a girl that hairstyle...but I disagree. Ok, so the pictures were all of guys, but still...I don't think she should just throw labels on me and tell me what I can and cannot wear.

I don't know, what do you guys think? Ever been in this situation?

i live in this situation and i know its a pain in the a$$. my mom badgers me about hair, clothes, and even body movements (says i 'move like a guy') but what i do is try to please her in a different subject (like school if ur still in school)(my mom s chinese). its not solving the problem but it made my life a tad easier to handle

I used to have the same problem. I've been shopping in the guys section for the last five years or so. My mom never stopped me, but she would make rude comments around the house about the way I dressed, how I didn't wear makeup, etc. Eventually it died down, but every once in a while she will still give me crap for it.

Good luck to all of you.

I have same problem as ya'll, every time I visit my mom at home I hear that same s**t, "Your not a boy" or "No boy is going to want you like that" (she doesn't know I'm a lesbian and happily so)

It's annoying and I'm sure it breaks her heart every time I return home the same way as I left but If I can handle the dissapointment of her not accepting me the way I am, she can handle the dissapointment of me not being her little pink ribbon wearing princess

Wasn't the old term for a manish girl a "Tom-Boy" (or is that politically incorrect since the tom and katie crap? And why did his name get to be first, I thought a gentleman let the lady go first? Or is that politically incorrect too?)?

How kids dress has been a source of friction between parents and children ever since the first caveman's daughter decided she wanted to wear a leopard's skin instead of a bear's hide, so you are all in good company. I'll bet if you asked your grandmothers they might have some tales of the wild outfits your mothers wore. ^_^

Anyway, try to treat the issue gently, you can always buy more clothes, but you only get one mother.

Take it from someone who no longer has one...

I'm not terribly familiar with tom and katie or how they could have altered the meaning of "tomboy", but "tomboy" in our society actually comes from a cultural term in the Philippines. "Tomboi" in Filipino-culture was in reference to women who dressed as men and had masculine mannerisms. However, there, it was highly looked down upon and resented since these women were breaking the beliefs their society had in regards to "masculine" or "feminine" gender [removed](they viewed it as challenges a women's gifts of birth and femininity). Anyways, it is correct to call boi-ish girls tomboi's, but this is usually in reference to younger (not necessarily gay) girls in Western society.

In reference to haircuts, my mom fought me for four years (leading up to my leaving for college) until I finally got it cut into something boi-ish/androgynous. She wouldn't touch my head for 2 months afterwards.. but she's mostly over it now. She's never been directly rude or mean, but often she looks sad or disappointed in my apparent inability to fulfill her "dream" of me being her little pink sunshine. gonk And yeah, I get the "why do you want to be a boy?" all the time... -_-;; Neither of my parents get it.. at all. O_o;

Anyways, I agree with Chiaroscuro-- don't let her get you too down. Be who you feel comfortable being gradually. Parents usually respond to gradual processes more openly (e.g.: each time you get a hair cut make it a bit shorter than the last time until you get it to the length you want). Always be open to discussion with her on the topic, even if her frustration or ignorance continue and try to stay patient (but that doesn't mean you let her verbally push you around, either; let her know if she is being inappropriate). Even if you are annoyed and severely disagree with her remarks and opinion, patience and respect crack just about any parent's resolve. wink Good luck. ^^