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 Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 12:33 pm
The prophecy
In the times when good and evil fought for the earth, an angle and a demon were forbidden to love. A prophecy was placed saying that when a angle and a demon fell in love the war would end and neither side would win. So they put the word out that’s if an angle and a demon were to fall in love they would be killed.
Aina was the demon. She was the dark god’s favorite, and the most beautiful. Her hair was long, silky and fire red, eyes black when angry and red when happy [yes demons can be happy]. Her lips red as blood, and her wings were black and felt like silk, a body that every women dreams of. She always felt as if something was missing from her soul.
Lan was the angle. He was the light god’s top favorite and the most handsome. His hair was long and silky and sapphire blue, eyes the color of his hair. A body so strong and genital. Wings so white and soft. He also had something missing his soul.
They were both sent to kill each other. When their eyes meet they couldn’t bring each other to kill. In there eyes they saw what they were missing in each other.
For a long time they saw each other in secret. Both of the gods knew something was up. They had spies follow and watch them. When Aina and Lan found out the gods knew they ran into each others arms flying through the air. Soon the sky became dark and lighting hit. Then the ground split into two. Black flames sprang forward and grabbed Aina. Then with a flash of light grabbed Lan both being pulled apart.
They broke fee of the gods and flew together
“I will never let you go. The gods will never pull us apart, not even in death.” Lan said into her ear
“I love you and always will love you even after death” said Aina
At that moment a burst of the god’s energy sent them falling 2,000 feet to the ground. They hit the ground and sent dirt every where. They hadn’t let go.
“See even in death can separate us.” Lan said between gasping breaths of pain.
“I know my love, please forgive me. It’s all my fault.” Said Aina
“No, love pulled us together and we both knew this would happen. Pulse you my treasure, my heart, you are the part of me that I’ve always been looking for” said Lan
When the gods heard these words they felt sorry for killing them they ended the war then war then made the human race equal of good and bad. They decide to reincarnate them.
So the story continues in the future.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 8:56 pm
is this for honors english?
if so then ill be happy to help. well i guess ill help anyway.
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 12:01 pm
no its a short story for the newpaper
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:37 pm
It's too short, not enough detail. That's a pretty big story and you went to tell it in only a fraction of what it deserves. Really short stories, like what you're to be writing, are best done with small, isolated, yet dramatic plots. Check out some Edgar Allen Poe to see what I'm talking about. He was the master at short stories. Not saying that it has to be dark or anything like that, it'll just help with the format. Also, it's really good to tell the story in first person, because it allows for anonimity and then you don't have to go into any of that character development stuff. I hoped that helped. ^_^
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