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 Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 12:59 pm
DATE
Mood: Kind of Lonely
Song: Going down in flames- 3 doors down.
I’m not really one to write down my thoughts, I usually keep them to myself. Even if I do write them down it’s in a diary of my own. All of that aside, I decided to make a journal on here. n_n
This past month I’ve felt pretty lonely for some reason. I’m not even sure why. I was in a type of fight with one of my best friends... looking back on it now it seems so trivial.I don’t even know why we blew it so far out of proportion. I guess that’s what happens when you keep your emotions to yourself and let them build up. I think we patched things up, but for some reason it still seems a little bit off. All I can say is; lesson learned.
Some of my other friends are becoming a little distant too. I think its because we’re all so busy, and I wasn’t making much of an effort because I was in an emotional slump. So now, I’ve been kicking it into over drive with my schoolwork and I’m definitely making the effort with all of my friends because they are such great people and I don’t want to lose them.
Been really sleepy lately :[ but at least I got a half-nap in science class today. xD we had a substitute teacher who took about five minutes to remember his name. He was just like, “ Y’all know what you should be doing so get to it.” heh.
Hm. What else. Well, A lot of the things that I’ve been trying to do with good intentions have been getting me somehow hurt or in trouble. Dx and a n00b scammed me out of 40k. I feel like such an idiot, and to me, feeling like an idiot is worse than losing 40k. Meh, whatever.
I guess that’s about it. :] Not much else I feel like writing down domokun
p.s. I'm having trouble with the header, but I'll try again later and edit it. xP
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 1:07 pm
Ah feeling lonely is no fun thing I'm sorry to hear that. If you aren't sure why then you really should search yourself to find it out cause it's pointless to feel something so drastic (especially after so long) when you can't even explain what it is. I hope all gets better soon. It's also a bummer when friends grow distant as well but we're all growing up and sadly that's a part of life. We're still all becoming who we will someday be so moving on to new things is almost like a requirement. All will be fine though :3
Sorry to hear about that scammer I hope S/he gets what's coming to them (assuming you reported) and maybe I can help out smile
P.S. Fixed your header. I didnt have it uploaded yet sorry ;P
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2007 5:21 pm
May 11, 2007
Mood: A little bit happier :]
Song: Like a Prayer =I ackknowledged your post Gold. Thank You n_n=
So I'm feeling a little happier than I was earlier today. Actually made progress and did something xP I went for a run through the bike trail and took a little tour down memory lane. It's usually what I do when I'm feeling sad.. I look through old photo albums and pictures/ diaries. It was really nice. I found this old envelope too, I totally forgot about it. Starting from 6 years old I found messages that I wrote to my "future self" each birthday. It was pretty cute actually. my handwriting was so sloppy when I was little xD; There were all these messages like; " Don't ever like boys!" and stuff like " I hope you are still friends with So and So", " Hey Future self I hope you make the track team, never stop liking Jesse McCartney" rofl rofl xd So it cheered me up some. Like a little time box or whatever those are called. So it was nice. I found I did some of the things I wrote to myself.. and other I didn't. whee Went to the video store, and baked some really yummy brownies ^.^ ( From a box 4laugh )
<.< I ran into my ex at the video store. with his new gf. X_X I swear, he was an utter jerk. I hate that. whatever happened to his agreeing to " Let's still be friends" xp That's about it right now. Writing in a journal is sorta fun. ^.^
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 3:43 pm
May 13
Mood: Upsetish
Song: One is the loneliest number Lately I've been asking myself why I've been so lonely. A course of events this weekend, ( that I don't feel like describing ;-; ) made me realize why that is. Not too fond of the answer. Rather upset about it. I'm not sure there is anything I can really do about it though so I might as well get over it.
Besides that; my weekend has been pretty busy. I've gotten up early for a morning jog Saturday and Today, went to church, Brunch, homework, went and saw the play "Grease" ( one of my favorites) Met for 2 school projects, went to the movies and a bunch of other stuff. Still. All the same I feel kind of off, like something isn't right. >_>
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:28 pm
Monday, May 14.
Mood: Hurting
Song: All the same- Sick Puppies. ( Free Hugs Campaign) I feel really empty all of a sudden. I can't single out the exact reason but all of a sudden I am distancing myself from other people when I'm in a group. Like today, during school there was a group of my friends standing around talking, almost in a way they formed a circle. But there I was.. standing right outside of it. I just faded back by the lockers. -Sigh- I don't even know why. It's not like I'm unfriendly though, or unsocial. Most of the time when I'm around a bunch of people I don't feel or act so lonely. When I'm by myself though... =/. I just wish I knew why I've been feeling unhappy lately. Maybe I'm becoming shyer. >.> I hope not. Usually being able to express myself is the one trait that I'm okay with. Hope that's not going away too. I don't feel well either >.> I have a killer stomache ache now that makes me want to just go curl up somewhere. Hope I'm not getting sick xP I should stop focusing on the negatives though and just try to cheer up. It's not like I actually have a reasons to feel the way I do. I just do.
On the plus side of my life, It was just brought to my attention that I'm traveling to Italy this summer for a few weeks. That should be fun ^^.
heart
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 8:15 pm
My friend is in Italy right now, so I'm very jealous of you both seeing that I have never been out of America.
As for feeling lonely and such its hard to say what it is. I would just try not too think about it too muc hand keep trying to do things as normal. If after a few weeks you still feel the same way I would look into doing something about it but since it is new I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it.
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Posted: Tue May 15, 2007 2:45 pm
[anonymous] My friend is in Italy right now, so I'm very jealous of you both seeing that I have never been out of America. As for feeling lonely and such its hard to say what it is. I would just try not too think about it too muc hand keep trying to do things as normal. If after a few weeks you still feel the same way I would look into doing something about it but since it is new I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it. Thanks Anon. :3 I'm trying not too. Keeping busy and such xP I'm not like depressed or anything whee I guess I just feel like I'm not fitting in anymore. neutral
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 12:18 pm
Geez, how can a day start off SO well and then just become so bad >.>
I had a great morning, was being a lot mor social then I've been lately. Making lots of plans with friends and stuff.. participating more in class. It's not really a big deal.. but it just feels like it was because I've been so down in the dumps lately. x3 Anyways, there have been very few time in my life when I've actually wondered why a guy acts the way he does xD Whether it be going " OOoohh" afters someone tells a bad joke, calling each other by their last names. Anyways. I thought that when I broke up with my ex that we would still be friends. I REALLY did. It wasn't just some stupid breakup line, I meant it. Its been a couple of months and I understand that he probably wasn't up to talking to me for a while. After a month or so I thought we were becoming friends again.. he was actually talking to me. I've always made the effort to be friendly.. But today it was just us in the hallway right before lunch so I said hey and started talking, I know yes, small talk is annoying, but I still want us to be on good terms. He didn't even ANSWER me. So in a joking way I was like " Geez, I said hey at least you could say hey back." STILL he didn't say anything. For some reason I was feeling a little P.O.ed so I slammed my locker harder then I thought I guess... and then the Vice Principal was right there and gave me a demerit for " Banging on lockers." Wtf? And that was that. I hate when people are mad at me >.> I really dont know why either. Other guys in the past have asked me out and even when I've said no we've still stayed friends. I don't know what's up, but I really don't like it. I don't know if I should keep making the effort when the desire to be friends isn't mutual. rolleyes On the other side of my day, I bombed my french test x.x I honestly think that Monsieur hates me. meck. another situation where being blunt is a bad idea.
LOST is on tonight. makes meh happy. Starting to look through some Italian books, so I'm not totally clueless when I'm in Italy. Maybe its messing with my French. could be.
Guess that's it. My good mood is ruined xP But that's okay, tomorrow is another day. heart
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:11 pm
So I just got back from the dentist. Got two teeth pulled. Ouch. I was really worked up about it before I went but then they gave me wonderful laughing gas. its nice ;D it didnt take very long and i didnt feel anything. but NOW. NOW It hurts like hell. My entire mouth feels 3x larger then it appears and its aching so much x.x maybe I wont go to school tomorrow. I really feel terrible. Gah. xp
mood: IN PAIN
song: Nothing
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 2:30 pm
Well look on the bright side.. It's over. xD
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 3:18 pm
Mood: Sad. Angry.
Song: Cats in the Craddle
Date: Friday the... 18th?
My Friday is pretty much ruined. Been planning something since the beginning of the week. >.> oh well. -sigh- Can't even go anywhere so I'm stranded at home all alone. what a day today was.
Evil ex's, fight with friend, stupid teachers, really embarressing moments.
Ferk. I was feeling better too. Oh well. Another night by myself. Surprise surprise.
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:43 pm
You need a clearcrayon weekend. Take a long, hot bath, relax, and try to not thing of things too much.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:33 am
Thanks Anon I'll be taking your advice. 3nodding I think I've been trying to do too much. But I do have a lot to think about @.@
EDIT: ( on my last post ) I ended up going to the carnival anyways ^^ ran into some friends there- had a great time. Went on this ferris- wheel thingy with these egg shaped cages that you get locked into and you can spin. It was realllly scary. Yet awesome. I lost my voice screaming on that last night D: I felt bad for the girl next to me, but she was screaming too xD I also might have thrown in a couple bad words and apologies for making us go on it. Though, we ended up going on it 3 more times xd heart Tons of other fun stuff. I was out till midnight ^_^
Now I think I will spend the rest of the weekend to myself. Trying to do too much just makes me feel icky. xp
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 6:54 pm
Well, I've been having a MUCH better week. I am soo thankful that school will be out soon :3 Today I saw Pirates 3 ^_^ It was amazingly good. Wont write too much~otherwise i'd be a spoiler. I kinda let out a little scream during this one part though. Pissed off this lady next to me I guess when shes like " Shhhh!" But then again, she was annoyingly loud how she ate her twizzlers.. and slurped her drink.. >.> and whispering. So I dont really care...
Anyways, I've done a lot of cool stuff this weekend with my friends which makes me happy ;3 made amends with my ex which is a relief. It was really weird actually. After a series of sucky events I pretty much had it and confronted him. I'm glad that I did. I guess it was one of those times where being a staight forward person helps.
Still mad at my one friend. Don't know how long it will be... >=l Dont think shes going to change though, its really hard to let go but I know I should just put it behind me. Yet, it always happens repeadedly.
Its a long weekend ^^ just what I need. Figured out what I'm' doing for the summer too~ I'm going to Clevland... Summer Gym.. ( X____x;;;;; wink .... Italy heart and then maybe fly to Texas by myself to visit my friend. 3nodding All in all, I've been feeling a lot better which is a relief. Feeling rather hungry.. gonna go get some food. x3
Mood: Restless
Song: Hungary like the Wolf
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![[anonymous]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/f4/f1/17e8869d1cf1f4_flip.png?t=1289271781_6.00_00)
