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Fairy Feller Fancy Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 2:35 am
I thought this would be an amusing topic. Mainly, because people do and say stupid things. Most of the time, it's on a regular basis.
And most of the time, it isn't online. We have the luxury of the backspace key. Unlike the real world... where you say it and it's over and done with.
So. Keeping this in mind, share stories of stupid things you, your friends, you family, or just people you know have done or said. What's better than laughing at something? Everyone likes to laugh.
All right... so, I figured I'd better share, too. I'm a prime candidate for an idiot, trust me.
I was sitting with TC on my couch watching the History Channel about a week ago. There was this one dude putting flowers on a WWII memorial (the documentary was about Pearl Harbor). The memorial was for the Arizona and was in Peal Harbor.
"I'll be going there if I get to go to D.C this summer."
I realized what I had said almost immediatly after I said it, but he stared at me for a good two minutes before he laughed his a** off.
I speed read, which leads to horrible things. Saying 'climax' instead of words that began with 'cl'; 'Pubic' instead of 'public'... things like that that left the class laughing and me banging my head into the desk. Thank god I don't go to Public school anymore.
Speaking of pubic, I thought pubic was the same as public for a great many years. Imagaine my surprise when I found out differently...
Something that I'm not responsible for:
"Joey" [8:14 P.M.]: Speaking of wardrobe malfunctions, My zipper did not want to stay closed -_-;
"Torey" [8:14 P.M.]: ... Must be a hint.
"Torey" [8:14 P.M.]: Time to lose your virginity.
"Joey" [8:14 P.M.]: xD.
"Joey" [8:15 P.M.]: No Comment. I'd just wind up digging a hole.
This one's pretty bad. My five best friends, my twin brother, dad and I went hiking up by Pike's Peak in the Rockies. Where we were headed was two miles up and there was a lake at the top. Beautiful place. Mind you, we did this in May and about 3/4 of the way up, there was snow patches... and we were taking off our shirts to stay cool (we had swimming suits on).
We got to the lake and got all comfortable and s**t... and then decided it was time to jump in the freezing cold water. We were determined to get fully submerged (all of us but my dad-- he sat and laughed). So were sitting on top of this huge rock looking down at the water... and saying "You go first."
Finally, we all get in and Tim and I are sitting about six feet from everyone else on a rock... RJ had swam across the lake (hypothermia was setting in by the time he got back to us), and Keith had a huge gash on his leg (hit the side of the rock). Tim and I decide we're going to get to land... We stand up and what's the first thing everyone notices? Tim has an erection.
"It's because it's cold guys!" We often think that that should be his epitaph for his tombstone when he dies.
I'll share more as time goes on...
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:38 am
Wow, those're some weird stories. razz
I have one from shortly after I came to Gaia. Someone had created a thread in the Chatterbox where the person who annoyed her the most would win something, so I decided to post like forty 1000x9000 pixel pictures of Norway, just 'cause I enjoy being annoying. Some random chick PMed me afterward saying how funny the thread was, and asking me things like, "did it tak u a whil to pst all that?" or in similar bad typing style. Then she abruptly asked if I wanted to be friends, and I told her, "I dunno, I usually only accept friends requests if I've talked with them on the forum a bit."
She starts getting kind of upset about it and asks me why the crap I'm still PMing her and stuff, and I tell her I have no reason to ignore her or anything, so that's why I kept replying. At this point, I mail a friend of mine (who I've "stalked" for over two years now) and tell her to mail the chick and tell her I'm taken. razz
Anyway, I tell the random girl that I'm going to bed for the night, and when I get on the next day, I have a PM sitting for me from her that says something like, "so, 1 of ur intersts is stalking defencless women on the interent? well... ur retarded!! this is the last thing im EVA gonna send you!!!"
Man... I really wish I'd saved that. razz
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 1:21 am
I've had a fair share of embarrassing moments, along with being witness to a couple here and there as well XD;
I AM T3H SUPERIOR!
Online drama = teh win.
So there's this one artist on DA who managed to make a sensation out of her love of Naga (half-human, half-snake creatures by her definition), not only that, she's also one of the more renown Harry Potter artists out there. Because of her ridiculous fame (5 million hits on her page so far), you can imagine she's constantly surrounded by 'yes-men' and a**-kissers.
One day she decided to post her art up for critiques at a forum filled with professionals. They were stunned by her art, but they found that she could use a little brushing up on her composition.
She threw a fit, got reduced down to tears and wonder why so many people ganged up on her and flamed her art gonk
We're not friends anymore >:U
A friend of mine was changing her friends list on DA here and there, as expected, she managed to forget a name or two. Now, one of the forgotten dudes came up and politely reminded her about it (in a joking manner). But one of them was visibly upset at her being left out of the list. Promptly she told my friend saying that 'their friendship is over'. My friend just brushed it off, if you want to leave for something trivial, whatever right?
The emo-kid of course, then decided to leave DA for a couple of months, closed down her doing-alright comic group and began harassing my friend left right an center. While I felt really angry at this little lady for being such a brat, I couldn't help but LOL at her stupidity every time she's brought up XD
Show me the Money
Something in the real world for a change. It was December 06, my group's debut at the local comic scene. I was put in charge of the money. A lovely customer came up, paid and needed change. Seeing as he was the first customer and we didn't have any loose change to give, I dug out my purse and handed it to him. The next customer comes up, he pays, but all he needs is a buck for the balance. We had RM10. I dig into my purse again and pull out MORE change. This goes on and on until all we have are bigger bills in the money box and little else in my purse. I was so used to the routine that when we did have smaller change, I still took my purse out.
So before we left we had to keep track of all the products' prices and how much we actually got. In the end, I had to seperate the money. The group had over RM100 and the balance was mine to keep XD;
No, we're different groups
ComicFiesta 2006 again. The booth my group had was in between a well-known one, and a relatively new one like ourselves. We managed to get along nicely with the fresh blood. They had so many products on sale, they didn't have any room for decorations and ended up covering the whole of their table.
Every time someone wanted something to from them, they would look at my group and ask for the price. Hillarious? Very. But I don't think they took it too well ;D
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 1:42 pm
Hmm... Stupid things people do? Ha... Haha... Hahahahahaha... *snorts with laughter* xd rofl Alright, this is sort of an "oldbie" thing for us at Break Free but... :guaranteed_2_blow_ya_mind im from the queen guild. i was hoping you could make me a queen banner. i love roger taylor so if you could make me a roger banner that has hot pics of him, that would be fantastic. i hope to see you on the forum guaranteed_2_blow_ya_mind crying crying crying crying crying talk2hand talk2hand talk2hand talk2hand sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop sweatdrop why did you decline my friend request? i really think your cool and would love it if you were on my buddy list! guaranteed_2_blow_ya_mind Popo-Licious gurenteed_2_blow_ya_mind i love your siggy!!!! i love it so much!! io wnat one like that. one of rog in late 70's. mmmmmmmm Thanks? sweatdrop whee you always got the best signatures. where do you find these great pics. better yet, how do you put them as your siggy.
ME : I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one. There was something about him having a dragon tatoo on his arm but I have yet to see it.
HER : he said he had one in an interview. maybe hes just real good at hiding it
ME : It must be tiny, then. sweatdrop
HER : yeah. i wanna see it really bad. i wonder when he got it, cuz then if it was in the mid eighties, you could look in music videos. hmmmmm. you should check on the queenzone.com and post there asking, and post in queenonline.com
ME : Why me? sweatdrop I could care less about his tatoo, actually. It seems very...un-Roger.
HER : cuz im not allowed on those sites, my parents dont like me talking to people i dont know. the only reason i do this is cuz they dont know, and theyll know if i go to either of those, but you dont have to. its mainly for the roger taylor guid on myspace. (Popo Note: Considering I OWN the Roger Taylor Myspace... >_o )but yeah, i couldnt imagine roger having a tatoo
ME : Then perhaps the tattoo is simply an appealing little myth fabricated by Mr. Taylor himself. :whee
HER : i can imagine him doing that. that silly willy walnut head sweatdrop
ME : So...
HER : loo, whats up? if i dont answer back its cuz i went to bed. ive been up since 5:30 and had to babysit at 6am until 5 so then i went home. ran, ate dinner, and zoned outI'm... I'm sorry! *laughs* I can't help it! She was always so relentless at getting me to find her Roger stuff! rofl For those of you who don't find the humor in this, GTBYM was a stalker-like Gaian who was hell-bent on embarrassing the good name of Taylor without actually realizing she was doing so, bless her. xd She annoyed the living daylights out of Memai, Mike and me but I sort of miss her now... She's a legend here in the guild. Probably the only legend. xd
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Fairy Feller Fancy Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:55 pm
UGH. GTBYM irritated the hell out of me. When I got into the guild and put the banner into my signature, she would relentlessly ask me to tell you to invite her.
At first I polietly told her that she had to take the entry test, just like everyone else... most of the time, what I got back was along the lines of, "i can't. i don't know how." After a while, I told her to leave me alone. God, did she bug the s**t out of me.
It Won't Go Off
Last summer, Leslie spent a month and a half with me out here in Utah. And well... when the two of us get together, I think we lose 100 IQ points between us.
One day, I was sitting on the couch watching a movie with her and snacking. She had been eating something with onions and garlic in it and by god, did her breath reek. I had to get up and move to the floor because of it.
And what happens when the credits start rolling? She stands up, walks down the hallway, stops, takes about three steps back and turns... facing the Carbon Monoxide reader. I'm standing up asking her if she wanted the sunblock so we could get to the lake and she holds a hand up at me... "Shh.."
She leands forward, looks at the 0.0 reading and decides she can change it. She breaths on it. She breathed on that damned thing for a good two minutes while I'm staring in shock, disbelief, and amusment.
"Hey, Tor... it ain't changin'." She looked at me like she really believed she could make the number go up...
"How about your saliva? That probably has enough acidic acid in it right now to make the damned thing read." She took my thoughts at face value and into consideration and had a brief encounter with "brilliance".
She runs her a** upstairs, comes downstairs with a mouth full of something, and spits it on the reader. The damned thing beeps a few times and then goes blank.
She spit lemon juice on it and broke the damned thing. And by my grandfather's grave, this is all true.
Skittles... taste like the couch?
RJ's room was our main hangout after school. It had everything- a fridge, microwave, couch, entertainment center... but there were some downfalls: it smelled horrible (three teenaged guys stayed there most of the time) and it was hot as hell. No fan.
One day, five of us (Braden, Tim, RJ, Leslie, and myself) are sitting in there after school. Leslie had a bag of skittles- unsurprising. She wouldn't let any of us have them- again, unsurprising. So we're sitting there. Braden and I sitting on the foot of the bed, Leslie on top of the couch, and RJ and Tim on the couch playing a video game.
After being told no a few times by Leslie, Braden lunged for that bag of skittles and the thing ripped in half. We scrambled around getting the skittles up and into the trash can...
About six months later, RJ's couch was leaving and we were putting in a new one. While taking off all the cushions, what do we find but ******** Skittles? And what does Braden do...? Grabs a handful and eats them...
He looked very disgusted and said, "They're ******** stale!" In the meantime, we're all in various states of laughter and shock and I'm sitting there looking at him... Tim's bed on the weekends and anytime we didn't have school, sometimes the cat's bathroom, and all of the hair and germs that were on it... and all he could say was that.
Allergies
Alex was emo. He was emo before it became a trend in Widefield, Colorado. And the summer after 8th grade, a whole group of us went down to the Sand Dunes in Southern CO. Welllll... at that point, Alex was also in love with every girl he saw.
The four ones of his 8th grade school year were on that trip: Leslie, Ashley, Jess, and myself. So... we're hanging out in an 8 man tent with Alex sitting in there crying his ******** eyes out (over Jess).
Of course, we all felt sorry for him and tried to comfort him... And it was suddenly dinner time. My dad comes into the tent and there's Alex, belly down on the sleeping bags with bright red eyes and bright red cheeks.
"Allergies or are you being a ******** wuss?"
"Yeah. Allergies."
That 8 Man Tent
Braden and I were dating for the second time about two weeks before the camping trip to the Sand Dunes. My dad and his dad are sitting in the livivng room when we come in... and what gets thrown at us? A 8 Man Tent. "Put it up!"
We believed we could. That damned tent was not only 15 feet long, but it was a pain in the a**. We fought with it for two hours setting it up in my backyard when RJ comes over and asks, "Where's the Entrance?"
We set it up inside out and put the poles in front of the entrances. To this day, I don't know how we did it. I think it's because we were too busy yelling at each other about how to set it up...
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 10:09 pm
Oh... HER rofl God she was irritating! Like Fairy, she tried to get to Popo through me, along with asking me to make RMT banners O_o;; I'm glad she's finally got half the brains to leave us alone! <3
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:11 am
She was trying to use you guys? I had no idea! xd
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 3:26 pm
i went to a Catholic school for three years, from sixth to eighth grade,and one of the kids there holds the monopoly on stupid things, from the classic accidentally-peed-on-an-electric fence to fell-out-of-the-rafters-during-during-the-church-Christmas-pageant-and-breaking-his-arm-because-he-thought-that-the-angels-should-be-more-realistic. However, the best ones came from our class trip to Washington, D.C. (Speaking of which, i'm going there this summer, too.) He spent twenty minutes scouring the map looking for the memorial for George W. Bush. He spent another twenty minutes looking on the map for all the locations of hot dog vendors. This one is awful- he was attempting to recreate the 'Ministry of Funny Walks' Monty Python sketch. Unfortunately, it looked more like a Nazi goose-step... and was right in front of the Holocaust Museum. A little old lady came over, hit him with her purse, and told him that he should have more respect. He couldn't figure out what he was doing. He was convinced that Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson's character from The Patriot) was buried in Arlington Cemetery, because "all the other American war heroes are there!"
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 7:01 pm
My roommate did something amazing at our dining hall today. They had some vegetarian chicken patty things (pretty tasty) on the main line, and tofu at the noodle bar. The dining hall rarely serves veggie-specific stuff, and i was pretty happy about it. She was poking at the veggie chicken, because she'd never seen it before, and was kind of amazed. She grabbed a burger and walked over to the condiments bar to get cheese. They were out of American cheese, and so they'd put out Swiss, along with a little sign saying "Swiss cheese." She picks up a piece, and yells over to me, "Hey, Caitlen! They've got tofu cheese! It's this stuff, with the holes!"
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 9:05 pm
xd
Because everything goes wrong when rehearsing, I'd thought I'd share this story..
My brother and I were doing "What Would I Do Without You?" and when he did a prat fall, he landed on my foot and hit me in the leg with the cane at the same time. I yelled some profanity before I realized I was in my friend's church... Wanna' talk about stares?
And... I found this stupid. They have the LDS DVD rack by the check out stands at our Wal*Mart. Right next is Cosmopoliton and their "100 Ways For Better Sex"....
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Fairy Feller Fancy Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 10:50 pm
I suppose I can officially call myself a pervy little nut with a hearing problem due to my seriously loose grasp on the world.
A friend of mine is an advocate of instant noodles, and she's a bit on the loopy side too (so you can imagine that she gets easily entertained by the smallest of things). She had made her batch of the noodles, surprised at how much steam had built up under the little plastic cover, "Ean! Ean! Lookit! It's all steaming and stuff."
I burst out laughing, I swore I thought she said "It's all semen and stuff..."
rofl *shot*
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 1:07 pm
Ah.. Pervyness. I hear everything wrong. Or, I take it wrong. I find innuendos fun when people don't know what they're saying. Especially when they're bible thumping people.
A group of friends and I were in Wal*Mart and TC had been asking people about their Jesus all day long. Random people. And normally, they'd smile and point to their heart... Crazy. But anyway, I wasn't paying attention the first time and he asked a lady, "Will you show me your Jesus?"
I could've sworn he said, "Will you show me your p***s?" So, I burst out laughing and making a fool of myself.
Hm... something else pervy. Joey and I were talking about how we go together: like PB&J, Bread and Butter, etc. And he comes up with this:
"Joey" [8:00 P.M.]: I thought
"Joey" [8:00 P.M.]: for some odd reason
"Joey" [8:00 P.M.]: a**l beads and lube
"Joey" [8:00 P.M.]: ._.;
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Fairy Feller Fancy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:35 am
i think i might win for stupidest thing done by somebody in the guild. i was straightening my hair and reading a book this morning, and the book was really interesting. So interesting that i forgot i was straightening my hair. Which would have been fine, had i remembered to put the straightener back down on the desktop. Instead, i left it in my hair, holding it shut with one hand. Now, i have one of those industrial-strength-could-melt-copper-wire type of straighteners, so it was very bad that i left it in my hair. But no, i didn't care at all about that! The book was too good. Next thing i know, my friend's boyfriend runs in the room and says "Hey, caitlen, are you burning something?" i turn my head, and my hair is glowing orange. Naturally, i freak out, and start fanning it. Fire + oxygen = more fire... So my hair's on fire, and i can't get it out. After a good deal of screaming on all three of our parts (Hannah came in to join us and shout at my hair, which was on fire), i think "Hmm... what in my room has water? The fish tank!" So, i stick my head in that. Fire's out, but the fish are royally pissed. And that strand of hair, which once reached my shoulders, is now all frizzy and too short to stick behind my ears.
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 11:15 am
:ROFL:
I straighten my hair because it's naturally wavy, but I've never done that. I have burnt my neck though when laying the hair back down. I've also dropped the straight iron and my reflexes told me to grab it before it hit the ground. I had a lovely burn on my hand for a while. Couldn't bend it.
So, on Saturday, Alishia and I were driving up into Idaho. We were about... a hour away from our destination when what do we hit? Construction. So, what was a two lane highway turned into a one way road with weighted cones on the line so oncoming traffic could come through.
We had our windows open because her air conditioner was not working and blew hot air... all the damned time. We were just listening to music when a bug flew through my window, hit my ear which made me duck, then hit her arm, and flew out her window. She looked at her arm in alarm and what do we do? Run head on into a cone. We almost hit another one, but she jerked the wheel and made us almost go into the ditch on the other side of the road.
I learned how to fly fish this weekend. That was interesting, but I got pretty good at it. One of the better moments was when Alishia hooked a fish and I hooked that same fish... BJ and Aaron were fishing not even two feet from each other when BJ's line got so tangled upn with Aaron's that they couldn't get it free... Aaron hooked a fish and they were dancing around in the water trying to reel it in and not end up in the rapids.
I did catch a lot of fish, though. 'Didn't keep any... I hate fish and seafood. xd
OH... So.. on my backswing, I hooked myself and jerked myself into the water. That was a fun one. I think they just took me along for comic relief.
When we got back last night, I was so wired that I couldn't stop moving. I was talking with my parents and twin brother and pacing (Alishia noted that I was pacing, I didn't realize it)... talking a mile a minute. When I stopped pacing and tried to stand still, I had to snap my fingers and basically dance. I couldn't stand still. So Alishia takes me over to her house to calm me down and such. How do her and her mom get me to calm down? The word "Bellboy" comes to mind.
Speaking of her mom, I had to call her once we were at Malad ('bout an hour away). My cell phone had died Sunday morning, so I had to use Alishia's... Her mom answers, "Hello sweetheart."
I put a lisp in my voice and raised it about an octave, "Helloooooo Darling!"
I can't remember a lot of things that happened on the trip... I think that sugar high totally blanked my mind. whee
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Fairy Feller Fancy Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 11:39 pm
Scara... you... rofl This is the first time I've heard of anything like that xd I've tried straightening my hair once, but it only lasted a couple of days, and my hair ended up being three times curlier than it normally was Xp
If anyone knew me IRL, they would know that I could easily match Brian's ability into thinking so hard, I'm unaware of things happening around me.
You know those irritating house lizards that crawl all over the walls and ceilings? We've got plenty of them here. I was so engrossed in reading an interesting article that I hardly noticed I had a dead lizard on my head for the past three hours.
You can't imagine how high the pitch was (or the volume for that matter) when I found out, and that was when I was already in bed xd
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