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 Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2005 9:16 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:59 am
unlucky. Before anyone can help you read the rules and comment on other peoples work, love. Chao. You got three days
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Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 5:24 pm
Queeny unlucky. Before anyone can help you read the rules and comment on other peoples work, love. Chao. You got three days
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Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 1:34 pm
Quote: This fairy tale Is going stale
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Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:24 pm
It's a pretty good poem, but I think it would be better if you put it into stanzas and added punctuation. I like the way it rhymed, it didn't sound like you were forcing it to rhyme either, which is always a good thing. Could use one or two improvements, but overall, it was a good poem!
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Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:06 pm
A good poem, but a bit of a cliche with more of that "Teen angst/emo" stuff.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 2:10 pm
Fandalaar A good poem, but a bit of a cliche with more of that "Teen angst/emo" stuff.
- <3 rose <3 -
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 10:32 pm
That was...um...interesting. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, especially the fairytale going stale part, but the rhyming sceme sounded a little forced.
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Posted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 6:31 pm
Thank you... Yeah, it was a bit rough, in the middle and a bit at the end. Yes, it was a bit cliche, but it's how I was feeling at the time. I like the honesty...
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Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:21 am
It is of course VERY simple, but I think it makes the poem a good one.
Lines like "If only you'd just" and "No more living up" block the rythm to an extent where I almost didn't want to read t anymore. But I'm just like that.
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:00 am
it's interestin.. I agree that you should probably put it in stanzas it'll make it neater in my opinion..
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 4:38 pm
That was a very interesting poem. Problem is, I can't tell where you're going with this question . And I agree with everyone on the stanzas. Other than that, it was excellent. biggrin
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