Welcome to Gaia! ::

the death wash over the land like clouds in the shy
Nothing is left only the ash bodies of people and the past.
I cry myself to sleep every night
reminbering the faces of each person I knew
now nothing but ash remains

As I hear the crack of metal as the hammer of the gun is pulled back
my hand tightly gripped around the butt of the hand gun
The tears ran down my cheeks as I pulled the tigger hard.
as the sound of metal on metal fills my ears.
The buttle a blank like the other rounds I found
I cannot even end my life of nothing

I cry tears of black ash with the pain of lose in my heart.

Agreed, it's got potential. It just needs some reworking- a little fine tuning and it should be pretty good.

If you truly feel depressed like that I suggest looking at life differently. I used to write that way too- as if my life were terrible. I will probably never get through to you saying this, because people said it to me too, but your life probably isn't that bad when you look at it. But I don't know you, perhaps I'm wrong.

Interesting enough, this is a bit confusing at one point. But I suppose if It was all spelled out then it wouldn't be a true poem.
sweatdrop maybe I am just slow.
So, this poem does show a lot of pain though.
You are completly sure you aren't depressed?
lol, jk.

3nodding 3nodding thank you smile

I thought it was a very good emotional piece, though it was a bit depressing sweatdrop
I also thought that it needed punctuation because without it the rhythm was very confusing and nothing really stood out. Spelling corrections need to be made also which will really help the flow of the poem. Overall, it was a pretty good piece, but it could be better.