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 Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 8:55 am
I have been told on numerous occassions that I am too sensitive.
Being sensitive is something of a double edged sword for me, but its really becoming a nuisance at the moment.
The good thing about it is that it allows me to feel other people's pain and thus do a better job at helping them, empathizing with them.
I gained the trust of my closest friends by being there, and spending an enormous amount of physical and psychological energy helping them resolve or at least face some of their darkest fears.
The bad thing is that all of that energy I dovoted to others is usually not returned. And using it leaves me rather vulnerable. In the last 24 hours I've been told I'm too sensitive and need to toughen up. I think it's perfectly normal to be offended by remarks made towards members of my family or race, even in jest. But some people think Im just being over-sensitive. My sister also told me that I was being too sensitive and should get over myself. So my question is how do I 'toughen up'. Even I have noticed me crying at the drop of a hat over the smallest disappointment. When I'm angry I try not to cry, but its getting harder and harder. I don't want to resort to my depression medicine to make me feel better, since its just a crutch in my mind.
Last night I was told to man up and since I'm not a man we settle on the term toughen.
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:51 am
It sounds like you might have to put up some blocks and barriers against the emotions of other people, while you sort through your own situations. I know it isn't an easy thing to do, and if you are not use to it, may take a while for it to feel like it is being effective. But if you feel you are being bombarded by too much stuff. It may be necessary. Hopefully, it is only temporary.
You use to work in a nursing home. So you should already have some skills from having to deal with clients who were sick or dying. Remember to recognize which emotions belong to you and keep them separate from everyone elses and learn to let go of the stuff that isn't yours. Heal what is yours and keep only what you need. Takes a bit of practice, but you do have the training. Just need to enforce it a bit more. I think I still have some of my old text books from college. I will see if I can find any info that you could use.
When you meditate, imagine you are floating in the middle of a lake. It is night time, and all you can see is the moon and the water (and maybe the boat if you don't wish to get wet). Focus on the stillness of the water, and the reflections.
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Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:26 pm
Thanks Thyna, I'll definitely try that. As for the nursing home business, one reason I got out of it (besides the injuries) was the fact that I did tend to get drawn into my patients problems, and was completely repulsed by some of the care that I saw while I was there.
For some reason the armor I wear seems to have some serious chinks in it and people are taking full advantage of them. It seems like every 6months or so I have to replace my armor and reinforce the walls of my fortress, but I just feel like I'm out of stones at the moment. So I'm basically jumping at shadows and flying to pieces over the little stuff. And I'll never find, let alone keep a job if I don't get a handle on it (plus my niece and nephews are going to be living with me for about a month *hides in a closet*).
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:38 am
It is hard not to. I mean they are people after all, not cattle. But I know that is how some places treat them. Some of my co-workers use to work in nursing homes. They said there just wasn't enough staff, so to accomodate, the places become task orientated and strict on their routines. If one client is too slow, it sets the whole schedule off, and the staff get penalized. There is just no time to care. If you do, you burn out. Well, armor and walls do need to be taken care of. If you find you are running out of resources, may have to import some stone blocks, masons and a blacksmith to get things fixed properly. If you are not getting the support you need from family and friends close to you, seek out other sources. People you know on the net, Spirit guides, activity groups, old co-workers...anyone who might take some of the stress off you for a bit. You need to take care of yourself. I might be able to help with the kids. How old are they, and are their parents coming as well? With it being summer you can always boot them outside. Got a big back yard or a near by park? heheh Check out some activity websites as well http://ww2.heartandstroke.ca/Page.asp?PageID=1996&CategoryID=60&Src=kidshttp://canada.kidsdomain.com/craft/?source=googleadwords&campaign=cga?keyword=kids+crafts&WT.srch=1&s_kwcid=kids crafts|564531983http://www.dltk-kids.com/Have fun whee
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 8:08 pm
Thankies
Actually they'll be spending plenty of time at the park or inside playing video games on the PS2. My mother has some activities planned already to keep them out of trouble. But as for parental units, theyre mother will be here for a week or so and then she's going home so they get to spend a few weeks here with me and the other members of our family.
I actually need armor to protect me from my family most of the time. My mom's a pro at ripping away your self-esteem and my sisters aren't slouches either.
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Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:55 pm
That sounds nice. I hope you all have fun. biggrin
My family has its share of critics, ignoramuses, and a$$e$. I've given up trying to get them to understand how hurtful and damaging they can be. So I've limited my visiting time with them, if I see them at all.
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Gentle Spirits Mascot Crew
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:30 pm
Agreed, I used to spend alot of time with the family, but now I just spend as much as I can stand...holidays, the occasional visit, and of course now that I don't have a phone that works, I am having to rely on them a bit more. Still, I have limited it for sometime now, since I've got some real morons in the family.
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 9:28 pm
ditto
But at least for me one of the worst culprits has passed over, so I can find some relief there. But I still have to deal with my dad, and he is the worst out of everyone. The only reason we kids tolerate him as much as we do is for Mom's sake.
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:27 pm
Yeah, I know someone like that, but its his grandfather who is the center of his turmoil. As for mine, I'd say it is my sister, who continues to make bad matters worse than they have to be by being chronically stupid. There's no cure for stupidity of this level...and it makes us all crazy. My mom is overly critical, a perfectionist and no one's perfect...least of all that one.
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 9:10 am
Yeah my gramps was one of the sources for my main problem. But he is gone so I don't have to worry about him anymore.
Some people have no common sense. And that can be very annoying for everyone who watches them and wonders "What were they thinking!"
heheh I have a few people like that at work. Not much you can do but hope that they either get a clue, or do something so stupid that they need to go someplace special to keep them safe. (I know I'm bad twisted )
Glad I don't have to worry about perfectionists. I like a little chaos from time to time, makes the day go by faster. Perfectionists think I'm nuts and leave me alone rolleyes
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:49 pm
Well its so much easier with co-workers. At the end of the day they go home...with relatives these riders are a lot harder to throw. I tend to butt heads with all of them since I was saddled with a house full of incompatible zodiac signs...pisces, capricorns (lots of capricorns) virgos, cancers, tauruses, geminis, scorpios and libras.
And actually, you're not bad, if you are than I'm downright evil, which doesnt bother me that much mrgreen
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 8:07 pm
Oterys Well its so much easier with co-workers. At the end of the day they go home...with relatives these riders are a lot harder to throw. I tend to butt heads with all of them since I was saddled with a house full of incompatible zodiac signs...pisces, capricorns (lots of capricorns) virgos, cancers, tauruses, geminis, scorpios and libras.
And actually, you're not bad, if you are than I'm downright evil, which doesnt bother me that much mrgreen heheheh aren't families fun. burning_eyes My uncle use to say that before we come to the planet we choose our families. Got something to do with karma, past experiences, contracts and what ever else the cosmos throws in. All I know is that there are days I wish I could exchange them and ask for my money back lol
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Gentle Spirits Mascot Crew
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:05 pm
lol! Indeed, I wish that I could have a complete refund sometimes, but there are a few members that as irritating as they are, I love them dearly. And if I chose these people, ye gods! what was I thinking crying
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Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 8:34 pm
chalk it up to experiences and some kind of odd ball learning. What that is depends on you.
Tolerance, patience, ignorance, self rights or a good right hander
take your pick xp
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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 5:51 pm
Well I have plenty of tolerence, I will say that. I have an aunt who will tell everyone in the family you're a lesbian if you cross her (regardless of whether its true or not). Of course most of my family are Saturday Night-Sunday Morning christians so I don't worry about it when they call my religious obligations into question (I don't go to church anymore).
Of course I'll have to do some meditating tonight to keep away those homicidal urges when I visit my older sister tomorrow because she is irritating.
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