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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:51 pm
So, this is a long story that I haven't finished yet. I plan to post each chapter separately, and I'll post the next chapter within three-four days of some one commenting on the previous chapter.
I hope you enjoy the story.
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Posted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:53 pm
heart CHAPTER ONE heart
"Okay class, any questions?" Mrs. Corken looked at the class, no hands went up. "Good, your homework will be on page 43, numbers one through twenty-one odds only, you may begin now." books opened and pencils began scratching as the teacher walked to her desk. "Nadia, could you come here for a moment?"
A girl rose and walked slowly to the desk. "Yes, Mrs. Corken?" she asked in a soft voice as she brushed a strand on auburn hair away from her face. Across the room heads turned up and glanced uneasily at the student and teacher then they quickly dropped their eyes back to their math homework pretending not to care.
The teacher opened a drawer, "This note is for Mr. Taylor. You have him for English next period." The woman gently placed an envelope on the table in front of Nadia. "If you could please deliver it. I appreciate it."
Nadia picked up the envelope, "Sure, no problem," she said returning to her seat. She opened the binder on her desk, then after idly through some of the pages for a few minutes she selected one of her drawings. With a sharply pointed pencil she worked carefully to keep the perfect symmetry of her art that impressed even her friends who saw finished pieces all the time.
"Have a nice day." Mrs. Corken said from her desk when the bell rang. Nadia packed away her pencils, the slid the sheet carefully into its folder and closed the binder.
"Which one you working on today Nadia?" a skinny blonde asked coming up to her as the rest of the class filed out the door. Nadia just shrugged, lifting her bag onto her shoulder. She grabbed the envelope and walked out the door.
"Did you see the way everyone's head turned when she called me up to talk to her?" Nadia sighed shaking her head as she stopped and opened a locker. She took her English books out. "You'd think that what happened between Tara and I wouldn't be such a big deal in a school like this. Closing her locker she gestured at the huge expanse of the school.
"Well, it's not every day that a teacher's daughter buys another female at a date auction." her friend supplied sympathetically.
"Darcie bought Beth.” Nadia said shrugging as they walked to English. "Besides that, Courtney, there are a few other girls in this school who...well don't go strictly for guys."
"Well, I can't see how you're so cool with it." Courtney wrinkled her nose and pulled open the door. "I mean the rumors that have started saying that you're like that, and hell, a few guys even asked me if you and I ever went together."
"What'd you tell them?" Nadia asked dropping her bag to the ground under her usual seat. Courtney made a disgusted face, then smiling; Nadia shrugged and walked over to the teacher's desk. "Mrs. Corken asked me to deliver this." She handed him the letter and took her seat as other students began to file into the room.
"Do you have to go with her?" Courtney asked. When Nadia just shrugged she let out an exasperated sigh and gathered her own things in preparation for the class.
“Good morning class. Today you're going to choose topics for a research project." Several hands went up around the room. "Hands down, I'll be letting each of you pick random assignments from the fish bowl." Mr. Taylor picked up the fish bowl and started going around the room allowing each student to take one slip of paper. "Now, you will notice that each slip has multiple topics of similar origin. It is your job to become familiar with them before class tomorrow. You may either go to the library or the computer lab to work on this." Students began to pack up their things to go elsewhere, "Oh, by the way, whoever has divinations and fairies, Mrs. Tatro has recently received some new material that should be very helpful to you.
"Well, that means I should hit the library." Courtney said rolling her every. "I've got the little winged people."
"And I have tarot, and other divination based topics. I'll come with you." Nadia followed her friend out of the room.
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 7:14 pm
This is a nice piece of writing. It kept my attention and I want to see more. There was one spot where you wrote "the" where it should have been "and" umm it's here:
Nadia packed away her pencils, the slid the sheet carefully into its folder and closed the binder.
I guess it was supposed to be "then" not "and" but either would work.
I really don't see any major things to talk about. I like your style and your character development seems good. I hope to see more of this.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:44 pm
I like this so far. It flows well and got me interested and wanting to read more.
Just one thing... The line "She opened the binder on her desk, then after idly through some of the pages for a few minutes she selected one of her drawings." Should there be another word before idly, eg. 'after flipping idly...'?
Well, that's all I can think of... Sorry if I haven't helped much. Good luck with your writing, and I look forward to reading more of this if you put it up here =)
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:13 pm
hey all, let me know if you're interested in more.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:25 pm
Hey this looks kinda cool. Is this just a regular school drama or is there a mythical plot in relation to Nadia's assignment.
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:36 pm
You have a good plot shaping up here. The LBGT theme has a market for it. However, you need to work on character development. So far I'm getting nothing from you're characters. They are very reactive and two-dimentional at this point. Get those characters into the action of the story as quick as you can.
(This is a short type of workshop that I'm used to doing.)
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