Welcome to Gaia! ::

Honey, how old are you, first of all?

I'm sixteen years old, and my parents make me go to church every Sunday. I go, like a good little Christian girl, but I am not a Christian. I even go to Youth Group every Wednesday out of my own free will; I sing in the Christian band. But I am not a Christian. I go for everyone else's peace of mind. Some of my friends are Christian, so I go to YG for them (and the band; I'm in that because I just like to sing). I go to church for my dad; it's something he uses to just do something with me.

Just a note, I can't stand church and all the hypocrites who go, but it's an hour for my dad, so I'll do it for him.

My parents understand that I don't believe in God; my stepmother doesn't truly, either. When you move out, you don't still have to go to church. But it seems that this is something important to your mother, so just do it for her. I went through all this same stuff as you and have come to understand that it means a lot to my family. Quietly research other religions before you think about changing yours. And she's your mother; she won't stop loving you because you don't believe in the same God as she does, and it's very wrong (and not to mention HYPOCRITICAL) if she does. I sit in church and daydream about my boyfriend or something for an hour. It's only an hour out of your week (or, for you, two weeks) for your mother. No sweat, I promise.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'd stay home if I could from church. But it's not worth complaining about. You're thirteen years old, dear; you'll do a lot of things you dislike. My advice is the blunt and harsh that nobody really wants to hear; suck it up and just go. I think almost every kid in America has parents who make them go to church, and they are seperated into the people who want to go and the people who have to go, which are further seperated into those who spend their lives complaining about it and those who realize there are better things to do than complain about things they can't change. You never have to pay attention; just pretend you are. It's not hard. And if your friends are claiming to be Christians and aren't, then there are a few more idiots who are giving the religion a worse name than it already has.

I'm sorry if I seem like I have little patience with the situation; I don't. It's that I'm sick of kids younger than me complaining about this kind of thing when there are those of us who have put up with it for longer with less noise. When you are eighteen, you can choose your own religion as you please and don't have to listen to your mother's dictations about what you believe. She's raising you the best she can with what she knows, and while I don't know the whole situation, maybe you're right about her, but chances are that she loves you dearly and wishes that you two had a better relationship. Chances are that maybe she doesn't even realize it is a bad one.

please take no offense to this,
but unless your mom is an unfit parent, then she wont hate you for not being a christian. i cant tell you what to tell her from my own expirience because,
1. im satanist and my parents know and i dont think you would be satanist
2. my dad is pagen and my mom is agnostic.
but i can tell you from friends expirence.
but before you say anything, do what i did. research all kinds of religions. even if you dont think you would belong to it, research it becuase you might not know the truth about it when you think you do. establish what religion you are. and possibly tell a few friends and talk to them about how to tell your parents.(i would think they know your mom better than us on gaia do) then when you decide to finally tell them, start of by saying that you respect christianity just like you respect all other religions or somthing. then go on about how you at one point thought about not being christian and that you wondered if you really were. and then tell them what religion you are. they should respect that if they are civilized people.

but if they do hate you for it, then fine. it might be hard for you to really belive this, but if they hate you over religion, then they really never loved you like a parent should.

again, please take no offense from any of this.

I must say, I find this post rather interesting.

Of course, I imagine the topic has long since been forgotten, but, I can't help but wonder...if distantflame is a professing satanist (leaning towards "pure" humanism, rather than infernalism I'd imagine), why would he care so much about anyone being offended?
Never mind freedom of speech, if life is all about you, then...who cares what some 13 year old girl thinks?

* * *

In any case, in reference to the issue stated: It sounds like you have three problems.

1. Your mom has the misguided notion that somehow, by bringing you to church, you'll somehow "soak up" some positive vibes/energy/goodness etc.
And of course, that going to Church every Sunday is what "good Christians" do.

2. You seem to think that believing in God makes you, or anyone that claims to, automatically a Christian and that if you don't go to "church" you might not be one.

3. That Church (and I have a feeling, life in general) is primarily, if not completely, about you (I'm guessing this one is mainly why SMM was irritated).

Now, I could give a three point answer section, but really, I don't think it's necessary.

The answer is, Christianity is, first and foremost, about a relationship with God. If you, your friends, or even the pastor of your church doesn't have one with Him, then nothing anyone else does can change that. It's between you and God.

It's the same as if your mom was trying to force you to date some guy she thought was really great, but that you completely despised. The more she pushed you to hang out with him and get to know him, the less you'd like him. Your mom is getting in the way of GOD. Not to mention that in the mean time, she (more than likely) thinks that by going to church every Sunday will score her "brownie" points with God.

It's not: I do "good things", therefore God loves me, it's I love God, therefore I do good things.

Finally, there are going to be A LOT of things that you'll be required/asked to do in life that you're not going to always enjoy. Most though will be worth it and necessary (taking out the trash, cleaning your bathroom, excercising, going to work, the list goes on). Sadly, this has become quite common in America and much of the developed world and I have full confidence that your mother and father are partially to blame for your mentality in this regard.
Your existence will forever be empty if you live in a way that's purpose is only to please yourself.
The difficult part is that to act in a way that is entirely without self gratifying motivation is impossible without the aid of God.

If you want to know God, just talk to Him and ask Him to change your life. It'll happen. In the mean time, befriend someone who is actually in a healthy loving relationship with Jesus Christ and hang out with them.

-K

PS Perhaps the greatest tragedy is that SMM's "fake it till you make it" mentality is perhaps even worse than the "Why am I here? Can I please leave?" position. Culture Club Christianity makes me so sad. crying