My girlfriend and I recently broke up, and although she's a girl who always been very dear to me; I've never been sure if I loved her. Well, I guess I do, if I didn't would this hurt like it does? I think the messed up thing about all this is I couldn't cry over when it happened. I only hope and fear that it's because the entire weight of what happened has not hit me yet; that or when I dealt with the situation in more destructive way it was enough, but still LaShaunna deserved me to cry over her. I cried, hard, when Dani broke my heart, and when Tiffany broke it for the fourth time, but I couldn't get out one or to tears for the woman who love me so much people could/would call her foolish, the woman who refused to take any other position other than by my side for the past three or four years even though I treated her like s**t sometimes. This woman refused to walk away even though I told her it would have been in her best interest; she finally take a few steps back and I can't shed a single tear for her until a week after only 'cause I made myself. I'm not saying I'm in the right for the ways I'm choosing to deal with this, honestly I'm not. I bit myself until I bled, got wasted on hard liquor, and I sit in a little room withering away what pitiful existence I have left. I don't even know if I'm alive anymore

see you next time space cowboy


songs you NEED to listen to
Damien Rice - Sleep Don't Weep
Plain White Ts - Hey There Delilah
Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On
Secondhand Serenade - Your Call

btw I've also posted a copy of this in "your burise"