|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 6:43 pm
Set after: 'What would YOU know?'
He would have to admit, that stuff of Lilianna's had worked well.. that sleeping potion. Perhaps a little too well. After he'd woken up initially, Edward had realized how tired he actually was... and had slept more. Setsumi had yet to come around, so he wasn't worried about it anyway. Since she'd give it to him, Ed had taken frequent long naps during the day, and had gone to bed early and woken up late. Which wasn't really like him. But then... sleeping was better than thinking about... things. It was a nice release. Whenever he was awake, his thoughts went in one direction... Lilianna. It was maddening.
Edward stirred as he started to wake once more, realizing that there was a weight on his automail when it didn't have much give. That got Edward's attention and he awoke, turning over and opening his eyes to see a familiar red pelt. Golden eyes suddenly turned wide as he just stared. What was -she- doing here? For a moment he paniced, thinking it might be Charity.. but no... it was her. She wasn't supposed to be here.
He was stunned, unable to move for several minutes. It was an awkward situation. Her persence was comforting... and disturbing all at the same time. A mixture of emotions flooding the alchemist's mind, one of the most prevalent being confusion. Swallowing hard, he eventually moved, trying to gently pull his automail arm out from under her head. But should he wake her? Edward sat there in indecision.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:29 pm
A soft sigh and Liliana shifted, frowning sleepily as her 'pillow' moved. A gold tipped paw lifted, reached, and fell, followed by a soft whimper.
Another whimper and a slit of green could be seen opening between crimson lids. First came a sleepy smile, seeing familiar golden eyes near hers. Close after fear shock and guilt as those eyes blinked open. "Oh!"
Liliana did not know what to do. A quick stolen moment was not the secret it was supposed to be. She had not intended to fall asleep. Her belly rumbled, remembering the barely touched sandwich of her lunch. How long had she been asleep?
Seeing how Edward stared Liliana knew the answer: too long.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:38 pm
Edward simply laid there and watched her... his expression was soft and sad... longing. He wished he could enjoy this moment with her... watching her sleep. But she belonged to another.
He dared not touch her, although he still contemplated waking Lily up. However, she seemed to come awake herself. Ed watched as she first smiled, then seemed to realize where she was. A soft sigh, and he turned his gaze away, frowning.
"Lily... what..." and his frown deepened as he paused, "What are you doing here?" He knew she shouldn't be here... she knew she shouldn't be here... so why? His voice was as melancholy as his expression, as if this was all just another painful reminder of what he could not have.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:02 pm
His sigh tore at her heart more than the frown. The paw that had twitched reached out tentatively and stopped, not trusting herself to touch him. It hovered undecided in mid air, shaking as if breeze blew around it.
What could she say? "I... ran into..." Liliana paused, realizing she had never gotten the other's name. "... A daughter of Envy." Her small form shook, remembering. "I had to check on you, if you were here. Didn't think you would be but... then I couldn't leave." She spoke softly, shaking like a leaf but otherwise not moving.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:09 pm
At the mention of Envy's daughter, there was a flicker of emotion in his eyes, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. He knew who she spoke of, and well.. he didn't exactly have a good encounter with Charity, as Lilianna knows.
"Are you alright?" he asked, looking towards her finally. A quick look over, and Lily seemed to be fine. But why.. was she so concerned about him? And why... couldn't she leave? The weight in his heart was heavy. "Shouldn't you be with... Endless?" it pained him to even say it, but well... he had to come to terms with the fact that Endless was the one Lilianna had chosen. Why not go to him for comfort? After all... Edward was obviously fine.
He just didn't understand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:32 pm
No. She was not all right. Lily had not been all right for a while save for brief respites here and there for some time now. Brown wings sagged around her. "We didn't fight, if that's what you mean. And she only said things that were true."
Guilt washed over her. Yes... she should be with Endless. But... "I'd never made such a decision before. I... "
What could she say? Her heart was pounding around the knife of guilt in her chest. "I... if being with him is right how come I long to be here so much?" There was a certain ring of her words that indicated 'here' meant company, not location. Averting her gaze Liliana stared at a crease upon the bed as if it held the answers to life's mysteries.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:39 pm
He blinked at her with that same tired confusion. She was making little sense at the moment, and his mind didn't really want to make sense of it. However, her murmured words cause a stir in Edward. His heart fluttering just a little bit... but whether it was good or bad, he wasn't sure.
A look of pain and slight horror washed over his face, "Lily... what are you trying to say?" Did he really want to know? She shouldn't be saything things like this. His mind started screaming at him, telling him that this was all wrong... and yet... part of him was riveted. So he just laid where he was, patiently waiting for some answers.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:50 pm
Green eyes shifted to find his. This was so difficult. Knowing how much it would likely hurt Endless did not help. But would it really be better for him, if she was continually thinking about Ed? "You. Your eyes follow me everywhere, popping up when I least expect it. When they shouldn't be there. I... don't think I can live without you in my life, Edward." There... she said it.
"But... how can I be trusted if I can't stick to my decision, Edward?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:02 pm
There was a moment of stunned silence. He didn't know what to do... think... or feel. Her words left him numb, eyes widen just slightly as he tried to take in the extent of what Lilianna was saying to him.
She had rejected him, told him that she chose Endless. Was she now saying that she changed her mind? Shouldn't he be leaping for joy right about now? And yet... something was holding him back. Doubt was creeping into his heart. She had hurt him so... and now, Lily seemed to want to take it back. But there was more at stake than just his feelings. Brows creased, and he still couldn't bring himself to look at her yet.
One thing he knew, he didn't want to be hurt again. But also... he didn't want anyone else to suffer either... including Endless.
"Lily... do you have any idea what you're saying to me?"
Slowly, painfully, he turned to look at her. "You chose Endless... you said you were happy. But now you're taking all that back? You can't... mess with people's emotions like that."
"... Do you really know what you want? Or are you saying all this just because you feel guilty?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:35 pm
She pursed her lips, then chewed on the bottom one thoughtfully. Every emotion that she was even know still getting accustomed to noticing playing across her eyes. "I'm going to feel guilty no matter what happens, aren't I? That was inevitable the moment I knew you both loved me." There was no accusation in her eyes. Rather, there was a glimmer of joy like should be there when one learns the one they love loves them in return. "And I can't deny I feel guilty now. Have felt guilty. I... I've been awful. More than once I've wondered how either of you could love me, foolish as I am a kitsu who could hurt the ones she loves in the worst way..."
Shame flooded her. "I... never wanted to mess with people's emotions. I don't want to now though.... it's crueler now, isn't it?" Quiet tears formed and trickled from her eyes. "But I know what I'm saying, even if the words aren't always best. Being without you is maddening."
Part of her wanted to look away, not wanting to see disgust of her in those beloved eyes, but could not. If she could not convince him... she would go to Endless and part ways with him too. Then she would leave. Liliana did not know where or how she would survive but she would not stay here. It would not be right. Why not hurt everyone she loved and who loved her at once? Liliana sighed, knowing she could not do that. Could not leave. Perhaps she could find a new room at home and never come out.
"There's... different kinds of happy."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:54 pm
But there was no disgust in his eyes. Confusion... hurt... longing... among other things, but not disgust. Edward was not fair weather... and his love and caring for her was unconditional and absolute. Even if she had hurt him, and that hurt had masked his feelings for her. The teen drew in a breath and let it out shakily. Who knew that love could be so... damn hard?
He wanted to believe her, but it was all very hard to accept. He had to make sure... because well... Lilianna seemed convinced that she wanted to be with Endless. He needed to know that this revelation she's had, isn't fleeting. And what of Endless? Truth be told.. he hardly knew the guy, and wasn't exactly fond of him because of this love triangle of theirs. But what he's been through, he wouldn't wish that on anyone.
"Are you sure?" he said again, his voice soft. "I don't want to go through this again, Lily... if you change your mind again..." and he let it hung there. He didn't really need to say anything further, he was sure she would get the point. If he believed her and accepted her, and then she ran back to Endless... Edward would not be forgiving the next time around. It was hard to say, or even think... but no... he was not an idiot. He wouldn't be taken advantage of, not that he ever saw Lily as the type to do so. She was confused.. and unsure... but he had to believe that her intentions were pure. Some might say he was too trusting, but he knew her well. He'd known her since he was small. They'd always been so close.
But also.. "Does Endless know?" He doubted it, from what she told him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:15 pm
His eyes... Lily wanted to reach out and touch him but did not dare. The hard feel of automail and the pendant at her chest enough for now. As for an answer... her small crimson head nodded, gold tipped ears swaying as she searched for her voice.
"I don't want to go through this again either, Edward. Bad enough what I've already done. What I'm doing. The pain I've caused..." No the guilt would never fade completely. She could never "take it all back" from either of them. And she did not need words to follow Ed's unspoken train of thought.
At his second question she started to shake her head then paused, looking thoughtful. "He might... Endless might know, though I've not told him. I... need to tell him."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:33 pm
He wanted to touch her as well, but he didn't... he couldn't... not yet. He was still unsure.. he would need some time to think this over and allow the situation to become resolved. Lilianna needed to speak to Endless also.
Edward seemed to be getting what he wanted... but... this isn't how he wanted it to come about. But then... nothing is perfect. He listened to her words carefully, before nodding slowly. "Yeah..." he agreed, she needed to talk to Endless, and if she still felt the same way after that... then he would be here, waiting for her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:47 pm
Lily snuggled her head against his automail foreleg with her eyes pressed closed. She really hated herself right now. For what she had done and what she was about to do and that she could not see in advance better what it was she really wanted.
"Then I had best do it." Sighing she rolled away from him and out of the bed. Her small body bore her sadness, but there was a lightness, even under the burden of what she now went to do. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
Taking her wand from its holster, Liliana disapparated from the room.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 11:08 pm
Golden eyes turned to look as Lily snuggled against his automail. Ears tilting back just slightly. He was unable to feel the gesture, but it still affected him. Tense facial muscles relaxing and eyes softening.
A quiet nod was given to her affirmation of what she needed to do, and the promise of returning. Edward looked on as she disappeared, leaving him to his thoughts once more... although this time, his brain had come to a screeching hault and had to do a mental u-turn. x_x A few quiet moments to think was cetainly what he needed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
