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 Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:08 am
Miscarriage is when your body for some reason aborts the fetus by itself. There are numerous reasons for this, and many are not the fault of the parents-to-be. The first trimester is the highest risk time period for miscarriage, and once you reach the 14th week, generally the risk drops drastically (although there can still be risk).
After a miscarriage, it is still possible to have a future healthy pregnancy, just make suer your family doctor and OBGYN knows about the previous pregnancy.
Miscarriage is a very upsetting thing to most women (and even their spouses/lovers and family and friends). Although it takes a toll on the spouse/lover, family, and friends, the mother-to-be generally takes the brunt of the emotional strain. Having a child growing inside of you is a great miracle, to have something that precious taken away at the drop of a hat is an extremely upsetting moment. One is generally stricken with not only grief, but worry, guilt, frustration, concern, and many more feelings. Generally the first thing that goes through the minds of the mother-to-be is 'what did I do wrong?'. It is important to remember that it is generally (unless you are drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or doing drugs during the pregnancy) NOT YOUR FAULT. Sometimes there is a chromosomal defect that your body will recognize and its nature's way of taking care of the "problem". It could also be any number of other reasons.
Once you have a miscarriage, there are two ways to expel the deceased fetus. You can expel the fetus on your own, accompanied with plenty of bleeding and cramps-similar to a heavy period. This can take any amount of time, and for some women may not happen. If the woman is not able to expel it on her own, or she chooses not to expel it on her own (or the doctor flat out says no), than a D&C is done.
A D&C (I forget the long name for it), is a simple procedure. The woman is put under anesthetic, the her legs are put into stirrups (similar to that of a pap smear). The surgeon will then insert his tool into the cervix through the v****a and scrape the fetus and other remnants of the placenta out of the uterus. This is a mostly safe procedure when done by a surgeon. The most 'damage' that could be done would be simple scaring that will generally go away after the uterus heals itself. Once the procedure is completed and the woman wakes up from the anesthetic, the woman will likely bleed for a short while and have cramps like a normal period.
The nurses and/or doctor will give you instructions based upon you and the procedure. If you are wanting to try again for a child, you can do so as early as the nurse/doctors say its OK. For many women, they may begin trying again after about a week.
If you ever are in a position that you have to deal with this unfortunate event, make sure you have good friends and family that you can talk to. Your support systems will be a great resource in this time of need.
If you know someone who has gone through a miscarriage, simply be there for them. Make sure to give them their space (especially if requested), but make sure they know that you are there to help whenever the need arises.
Remember: You are NOT ALONE in this. Others have been through it. If you need to, find a support group either online, or in your area. Talking to others who have had a miscarriage can help the healing process.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:12 am
With that said:
This has been a shitty day. About 4 o'clock, I got home from doing some errands and had to pee before I ate. So, naturally, I went to the bathroom. Unfortunately, there was a little blood spot in my panties. Naturally, being my first pregnancy, I was a bit worried, so I called Rhesus Krist at work, checked online, then ran and got Rhesus Krist from work and went to the ER. I was *supposed* to be at 13 weeks. When I went in for the ultrasound, the baby was measuring 8 weeks 4 days. Exactly a week after I found out that I was pregnant. There was no heartbeat, and no movement. After the ultrasound, I went in for a D&C (basically they went in and took the little baby out).
This hurts so much, and I'm just glad that I have a good family and a few good friends. I was looking forward to being able to find out what the child was in a few weeks, and Rhesus Krist and I even had names picked out already. Its so upsetting that I can't even describe the feeling. I feel like I've been beaten, knocked down, and laughed at by God himself. Even that, though is an understatement.
Those of you who know my phone number, please do not call me right now. Those of you who know my address, please do not visit me right now. I'm not trying to be mean. I need to be alone with Rhesus Krist and myself for a while.
Thank you all for respecting my requests, comments here are always welcome.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:47 pm
Oh readen. I'm so sorry to hear you lost the baby!
My thoughts are with you and your partner *hugs*
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:25 pm
Thank you, Thyna. I'm just glad that I have matured enough to kind of 'grow out of' my severe depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder.
The worst part about it is the empty feeling that I get. I not only feel empty in the heart, but mostly in my belly. Most women get a void in there bellies only to have it filled in their arms. I now understand those few women who keep getting pregnant just to have a child growing in their bellies. I never understood it before, but the feeling of being pregnant, the knowledge that *I* created a life form and I am helping that life grow and develop is a very special thing.
I'm going to take this time of growth, though, and get closer to the Goddess. I'm going to make an active effort to learn all I can to learn about the Pagan path and become more spiritual. I've felt so empty before the baby, like I was missing my spiritual side, and I think after all this, it was a sign for me to go ahead and really begin to develop myself more.
So, I will work on myself for now and I will look forward to next time. ^_^
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 10:59 pm
Grow Raeden, and do what you need to in order to heal and move forward as best as you can. Don't hesitate to seek comfort from those close by who are willing to give you what support they can. You are loved. Your path will help you find what you need. We are here for you heart
the little blurb in grief & loss would fit here:
Coping
- Remember pain does not go away easily and may resurface on occasion
- Know that not everyone will understand how you are feeling
- there may be some volitile reactions
- Don't suffer alone
- Seek out support from those who are genuine in their care and concern
- Don't minimalize the situation
- Seek out positive, constructive ways to express your feelings
- Recognize that your grief may not be the same as someone elses
- Give yourself time to grieve
- Don't set a time limit as to when you are supposed to feel better
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 3:23 pm
Ectopic (Tubal) Pregnancy: Click through the links here on MayoClinic.comThese are some of the websites that are helpful in understanding some things that can come with ectopic pregnancy. Again, click through the links on Ovarian Cysts on MayoClinic.comCorpus Luteum ('ring of fire') on JustMommies.comEndometriosis on MayoClinic.comRemember that is important to consult your OBGYN anytime your are pregnant anyway. If you have spotting/bleeding, and/or cramping, know that it can be normal, but go ahead and check with your OBGYN if you are worried about it. If you have severe bleeding and/or cramping, go to the ER immediately as you may have miscarried or burst a fallopian tube (in the case of an ectopic pregnancy). If it is a burst fallopian tube, this could be life-threatening to the mother as it causes severe internal bleeding. Again, remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS! Most of the time this cannot be helped. If it happens it happens and it does result in the loss of the embryo. A woman is more likely to have a future ectopic pregnancy in the future. As soon as you find out that you are pregnant, make sure your OBGYN knows your history and they will take all the steps they can to make sure your future child(ren) will be born healthy.
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 3:42 pm
So with THAT said...I've had yet another fun time with pregnancy. Here are the updates I gave my friends on another group. Quote: So, anyone who'd like the update. I had the blood test done Tuesday, and I got the results of that and an ultrasound done this morning. ... Basically, I'm a freak of nature. I have a "ring of fire" around my left ovary (which generally means that is the ovary I ovulated from), but there may be something stuck in my right ovary. Normally with an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy, the hCG levels will drop or only raise a slight bit. In a normal pregnancy, the hCG levels will double within 48-72 hours. Mine doubled. But there isn't anything being seen in my uterus...so, I get to do this all over again. I get my blood tested tomorrow morning, and an ultrasound on Friday. yippee. Seriously, I'm a freak. neutral Quote: OK update time! I just had my surgery last night. When I went in for the ultrasound, they told me that my hCG levels rose, but not by much. During the ultrasound, there was nothing seen in my uterus, but when we looked at the right ovary, we saw the yolk sac already formed. The 'ring of fire' or Corpus Luteum, basically gives off progesterone to thicken the uterus and feed the growing embryo until it completes the placenta. Because my body recognized a pregnancy, it continued to give off progesterone (and other hormones related to pregnancy). My doctor said that normally, they don't ever actually see the ectopic pregnancy, but since they followed it very closely, they were able to catch it immediately when they saw it. So, when he went in for the surgery, it was really easy to suction out. They went through a cut in my naval, and two other small cuts a bit lower along the pubic line. It was a laparoscopy, so it was just VERY small tubes sent in (I have three band-aids!). Everything turned out fine, but they did say that I possibly have endometriosis and that I have a cyst or two on my left ovary. The cysts aren't life-threatening and generally go away on their own, so we really aren't too worried about that. So now I'm home...hungry, but home. I still sleep quite a bit, but thats just my body needing its rest to heal. The only problem I am having is trying to keep my animals off of my belly. And I do have random bits of teary-ness when I think about the whole ordeal, but I am glad that we watched it closely and I didn't explode inside. I go in for another beta-hCG test to make sure my pregnancy hormones are dropping as should be (they already started and are dropping normally, so thats a plus). They will track that until it is at zero. And I go in to see my doctor on the 16th to discuss the endometriosis and everything else. I'm going to be put on some medicine that is supposed to get rid of the endometriosis, so that will be good.
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 3:47 pm
For normal pregnancies, a great website to check out is 3D Pregnancy. Its fun and interactive. It has a short thing about the baby growing inside, a thing specifically for mothers-to-be, a thing specifically for fathers-to-be, and even a thing for siblings-to-be! Its nice because it takes the WHOLE family into consideration.
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Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 1:51 pm
*hugs* raeden
Hope you feel better soon
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