Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply Poetry
You're Mine

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Should I make these into lyrics?
  Didn't even read it.
  Sure
  No, it's good how it is.
  It's not even a good poem, let alone good lyrics. [Me~ :( ]
View Results

hospitalflowers

3,750 Points
  • Conversationalist 100
  • Forum Regular 100
  • Invisibility 100
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:38 pm


Maybe I'll turn these into lyrics some time... I don't know... you tell me what you think, before I decide.

Everybody's starin' at us
Like We're not meant to be.
They're glaring at us
Like their glances could break you away from me.
But they can't do a thing about us;
Nothing can take you away from me.
Because I won't let you go.
You're mine, and that's all you'll ever be.
Let them think what they want!
Let them say what they say!
It won't take you away from me.
Because you're mine, and that's all you'll ever be.
Just mine, and mine alone, I won't share you with anyone else.
Because you're mine.
Everbody's starin' at us,
Like we're not meant to be.
Like fire and water that's trying to blend.
Their glances can never take you away from me.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 1:17 pm


I like it. Maybe sort of use different words, like the ones you use are
sometimes common. But that was really good! Could you read my poem and
tell me what you think?

Numikea


hospitalflowers

3,750 Points
  • Conversationalist 100
  • Forum Regular 100
  • Invisibility 100
PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:18 pm


Yeah, sure, no problem! But I'll have to do it tomorrow, because really I'm only supposed to be checking my email right now... lol
PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:20 am


If you are going to turn it into lyrics then it sounds like you might want to add more verses or break it down so it shows the chorus broken out. You have a real talent for writing lyrics. I manage my brother's band (he is the lyricist and lead singer for the band) and he throws songs at me all the time for "tweaking"! biggrin

I hope I can see more of your lyrics in the future.

Vampoctavia

Reply
Poetry

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum