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[LONG] I think my best friend is being abused by her father.

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Does this guy sound abusive?
  Yes, tell somebody!
  No, just drop it.
  Maybe... keep an eye on things.
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Tamponic Jesus

PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 5:51 pm


    →→

    Okay, well, here goes nothing.

    I have this best friend... we'll call her Sally. Now, see, I love Sally to death (in a friendly way.) I can tell her anything, and vise versa. We hang out all the time at school, and we call each other a lot.

    Now, notice I said we hang out a lot at school. Never outside school. Why? Her Dad is a control freak. Heres some examples of how weird he is ]: ...

    1) He won't let her call people on the land phone. Instead, he makes her call on her really old cell phone. And yes, they do have a working land phone~

    2) Shes fifteen, but her dad treats her like shes five. He sat in their van at school one day ruffling her hair and wouldn't leave her alone when she said so. He happened to do this in front of 100+ eleventh graders, who blatantly took the piss later on.

    3) He won't let her outside the house after school. We don't know why. He claims she has to look after her mother, who just had a hysterectomy. I mean, I'm not protesting that~ but apparently, 'Sally' must get up every four hours, night& day, to give her mother medication. Why should she do it? And surely she doesn't need to care for her mother ********) In english, we had to get into groups and create a Romeo and Juliet play. Sally& I were naturally in a group together, as we work hard together and don't goof off. Our group won, and our prize was a five-dollar-gift card to Wendys (fast food resteraunt, don't know if the USA has a Wendys o:.) Well, Sally used, WITH PREMISSION, some props from her father. Like, swords and stuff. Well, when she brought her gift card home, her father took it away, claiming it was actually his since he let her use his props. wtf?

    5) She always has bruises when she comes to school. When asked about it, she says she and her father "play fight." Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's not play fighting if her father is hitting her hard enough to leave big bruises. That sounds like abuse to me.

    6) Sally desperately needs new shoes. She wears worn out dress shoes to school, but her father will not let her get new shoes. Isn't that child cruelty...? I mean, clothing is a necessity. A child NEEDS clothing, and some decent shoes. I mean hell, something from Wal-Mart works, even. It seems to me that her father is depriving her from one of the necessity's a child needs.

    So, my question is, what should I do about my friend? Theres obviously something wrong with her Dad. I can understand some parents are protective of their children and such, but this guy sounds off the rails, and abusive. I've met her father before, and I don't know... he just seems very odd. I have no idea what to do! I don't want to confront her and upset her, but I don't want her to silently suffer, either... I'm so confused, I just don't want to see my best friend hurt...


    ←←
PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 6:02 am


Maybe you should try talking to her and if that doesn't get anywhere and you're really worried about her, talk to someone you can trust and that maybe can do something. Because a little protective is okay, but it can also go too far sometimes.

candy_loves_candy


WinterBean

PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:13 am


First, I'd try talking to her.
If she does admit something about it,
I would try talking to her about telling a trusted adult, like a teacher or one of your legal guardians.
And if she says nothing is going on...
That's depends on how bad you think it is.
If you think that she really needs to get away from her father,
or that he might do something worse,
I think you should tell someone who might be able to help.
PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2007 10:20 pm


Hmmm well I'm not sure about the other things, however, there's a difference in the look of bruises. In karate when you intentionally get bruises from training they are more redish bruises, unindentional ones are purple...

Asking her about it might make her distrust in you, so be careful. I would suggest making your own observations of those bruises first and then deciding what to do from there.

I hope your friend is okay~!

*hugs*


♥Misha♥

Reyvatiel Misha


Jewelies

Friendly Survivor

PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:06 pm


Keep an eye on things, for a little while. That guy does sound kind of strange, but at this point, it sounds like it could go either way. Trust your gut, if you feel very uneasy about that guy, then something very well might be up.

Be careful about bringing it up with your friend, though. She might get scared, and avoid you.

My suggestion is to keep an eye on her for awhile, and if you really feel she's in danger, find a way to bring it up carefully with her.

Until then, just be a good friend to her, in case something is up.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:52 pm


Try talking to her and then tell someone about like a consolor or someone who can help, but still keep being a good friend and if she gets mad that you told a conslor or someone you tell her your trying to help even if she is mad

blackbearsrock

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