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 Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:19 am
I was just wondering if any of you have any type of disordere or compulsions or anything like that. I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything. If you don't feel comfortable talking about your "disability," don't talk about it.
I have OCD and Adjustment Disorder, and a few other things that weren't yet diagnosed. OCD is obsessive compulsive disorder. Everyone that has OCD will experience it differently. In my case:
-I have to do everything a million times until I think it's exactly right.
-I wash my hands a lot.
-I am a neat freak.
-Everything has to be "perfect." (In my definition)
I also have Adjustment Disorder. I was diagnosed with this about two years ago. It means that you are afraid of, or at least have a problem with change. In my case, anything as simple as getting a haircut, or painting my room, can ruin my life. I find this disorder a lot easier to work through, but it's still horrible.
This is a place to talk about your disorders, or disabilities, or anything like that. You can talk about how they affect you and your life, you can ask questions, and you can help or get help on your disorder and how to "deal" with it. So, enjoy.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:58 pm
Aye, I've got OCD as well. It's pretty easy to deal with now, but I had it horribly bad as a child.
I've always had to wash my hands alot. But when I was a child I would do it so much that I literally washed the oils off of my skin until my hands were cracked and bleeding constantly. It got to the point that my mother had to buy some special soap for me to use at home, and she even bought some to give to my teacher to have me use while at school.
My hand washing ritual's still weird though. I've got to do it a certain way, and I HAVE to do that five times. Not only that, the water has to be extremely hot. Hot enough that now I have little feeling in my hands when it comes to heat, and I've pulled them out from under the sink before to have them bright red with steam coming off of them.
If I get really stressed, I have to do alot of things five times at least, or in several series of five. My compulsions seem to change though. Hand washing is the only one that stays around. Other times I've had to blink alot, make certain noises/breathe a certain way, drink something a certain way, or if something makes noise its got to make the sounds to a certain tune or something.
And aye, I have to do things until its right as well. For those that don't have OCD, be aware that what's "right" to us may seem weird to you. We know it isn't the normal way, but we can't help it. If we don't make things right, it'll really bug the hell out of us. For me it'll make me really annoyed and stressed out. If I'm forced to leave without fixing something or redoing it, it'll bug me the rest of the day to the point that I'm probably difficult for others to deal with. I get grumpy, my mind doesn't function as well as normal, etc. Which is pretty lucky considering that some who suffer from OCD have an extreme fear of not doing things right. Bad enough that it literally will cripple them and set them into a panic attack until its fixed.
I don't know, I'm tired so I'll assume that's it for my compulsions. My obsessions are nothing really special in terms of OCD either. I've got to go through a certain mantra several times throughout the day, especially whenever I get stressed or upset really badly.
I haven't been diagnosed for OCD though. Not by a psychologist. Just by myself, since I obviously exibit so many of the symptoms that anyone who says I don't have it are either someone I'm testing or someone who shouldn't have ever recieved their degree.
Its not really a disorder that bothers me that much though. Only the times that I end up washing my hands for like, ten minutes at a time. Especially if the water is actually hot enough that it hurts, because I can't make it cooler, otherwise I have to start over, and every time I do that (either by touching the sink or the faucet except to turn it off) it only adds to my stress, which makes me have to do it even longer, leading to me becoming annoyed and eventually angry.
I've probably got several other disorders as well. But OCD is the most evident one. One day I'll pick up a copy of the DSM IV and figure out for myself everything I've got.
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Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 9:47 pm
When I went into 4th grade. I got really depressed because I was getting bullied a lot and I stopped paying attention in class. It wasn't my fault. The teachers said I had: OCD, ADD, and ADHD. And someone even went far enough to say I was bipolar. So I was confused and I went to see a therapist, in which I was given Zoloft or "Happy Pills" and it didn't make me any better I just felt like I couldn't express my emotions and it kept messing with my art. So I got off of them then I had to start takeing them again. They really hurt me so I stopped and my mom made me go to another therapist that praised her even though she was pushing me to an emotional limit and after only two sessions with her I snapped. My mom said she got me a new therapist and she lied. That woman kept sending the same lines down my throat and I snapped I yelled "Shut the ******** up! You are a disgusting human being who can only pick out other peoples problems and you cannot deal with your own! You only side with my mom because you enjoy makeing me look like s**t! You are a pathetic excuse to the human race and you need to go fix your own problems."
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 1:02 am
One thing that is particular to me, but is not a diagnosed disorder so far as I know, is my horrific level of Neurosis. Of course, it'd be insane to think that just ab out everybody doesn't suffer some sort of Neurosis; you can blame the media, or your up-bringing, or whatnot for that. But for me, it effects every aspect of my life.
First of all, there's the biggest thing; the make-up. My face, by all means, is normal, but I absolutely refused to leave the house, or allow my family to see my face if it does not have an entire layer of base and concealor on it. Eye make-up isn't so essential for me; it's just that I -need- to cover up my face, and I feel sick at the thought of being in public without it. It's a rather irritating addiction, and that it is, for it costs me money I don't have to waste, and I fall into embarrassing panic attacks if I misplace my compact while in public. It's horrific, humiliating, and I dread every moment of it. Thing is, I -know- the make-up doesn't make me look better, Hell, I'm lucky if it doesn't turn out to be a different tone than the rest of my face. But, I'd rather that than people actually see my face.
When people talk to me, when they compliment or praise me, I know it's a lie. No, I don't 'believe' it to be a lie. I know it. They just say that to cheer me up; to make me feel not so bad about my true lack of skill, or whatever applies to the situation. Sometimes, when I'm more rational, I can see that, yeah, alright, maybe they're being sincere. I know I can do this, I know I can do that, so maybe they're half-right. But otherwise, I just literally can't take compliments. They're nothing but useless lies, in my mind. There's always a need to improve.
Otherwise, at least physically, I just need to make sure everything's perfect. That my hair isn't at all out of place, or my day is just awful, I feel disgusting and such. Or, that my clothing isn't out of place or anything. Heaven forbid I get a run in my stockings.
It's a problem that's not only expensive, but also stressful, incredibly negative, and mentally and physically exhausting. I'm so sick of it. I realize what I do doesn't make sense, and yet it makes perfect sense. I'm conflicted, but I know that essentially I just need to keep doing these things, or lose my mind.
The worst part is when my friends get on my case about it. I know they just want to help, but it angers me to think that they believe I can just stop. It's so much more complicated than that. Sure, technically, I -could- stop caring, stop adjusting and being paranoid, but I know that'd put me in a mental state I don't even want to comprehend right now.
So, that's my generic, and yet slightly unique little plague. Truly, I must say I'm a bit hesitant about posting this, since it may or may not alter members' views of me. But, oh well, I'll take the risk; I might as well fume to someone about it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:32 am
Asperger's Syndrome - I'm basically useless in social situations. People joke about the wallflower in parties who just stays at the edge of the room, and that person is more often than not me. If I know someone in such a situation, I will latch on to them and follow them around until the event is over, or I decide to leave.
As an Aspie, I have a strong mind for facts and figures of things which interest me, and has given the mistaken idea that I have a photographic memory. I find it hard to concentrate on things which don't interest me, but only really affected me in my first few years of secondary school (grades 7 to 9), as after that I was allowed to drop subjects I had no interest in.
I've been formally diagnosed with this since last November, but both my mum and I suspected this for a reasonably long time -- my mum used to keep up on medical syndromes and disorders, and when Asperger's Syndrome came to the fore-front in 1994, she thought it described me moreorless perfectly.
Being an Aspie, I also have at least the following four symptoms:
Non-Verbal Learning Disorder - basically, I can't look at someone's facial expression and tell you if they're happy or not. I need audio and body language cues in order to ascertain that fact, and even then it only works if I've know them for a while.
Anxiety - this mainly limits itself to disease/illness worries and pregnancy scares, so it just means I'm a hypochondriac :p
OCD and Sensory Integration Dysfunction - I'm putting these two together because, at least for me, they're linked. My OCD makes me wash my hands multiple times a day: my SID makes me wash them because I feel something "dirty" on them.
My OCD used to manifest itself by me refusing to eat food from a plate if the food was touching each other, which used to be a problem when I was younger, but not now. I used to wash my hands multiple times when my nephew was born ten years ago, but it seems to have disappeared and recently re-surfaced.
Maybe I should get the DSM IV and see how much other stuff I have :p
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Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 7:38 pm
I have quite a few disorders, ADHD and Depression.. But I just got off the medicine because they were addicting... I hope this doesn't start a whole new debate..... Well anyway. I went to a docter they said I had ADHD and Depression took a crude full of medicine and then my mom decided she didn't want to pay that much for medicine that wasn't doing anything... (yes it was) My medicine kept me emotionally stable when I was quite a cry baby and had constant Mood Swings! It was horrible ooo wait I'm off topic again... well anyway then I got off the medicine an dI about died I was having fainting attacks and constantly feeling sick to my stomach because the medicine was addicting.
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Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 11:20 am
I've never been formally diagnosed with OCD or anything (It's more of a self-diagnosis), but I have this tendency to put certain things back EXACTLY where I found them or so they match up. For instance, if I pick up a glass of water, I have to put it back down in the exact same position I picked it up from. If I don't, I get this sense of foreboding, as if something will go wrong during my day (like being late for school, not being prepared, etc.). Or if I place a book and a pen on a desk, I have to keep rearranging it until I feel comfortable with its position. The pen has to lay at certain angle, and the book has to be perfectly set.
It's especially hard in gym class if we're playing kickball or baseball. I always have to line up the corners of the bases to the corners of the basketball court or it'll bug the hell out of me until I do. People think I'm not being serious or they enjoy seeing me bugged, so they intentionally move the bases a couple inches away from where I placed them.
When I wash my hands, I can't touch anything. At all. Sometimes, I'll end up standing there washing my hands for 5 whole minutes because I feel like something bad will happen if I leave since my hands still feel dirty, but with dirt I can't scrub off. Once the water reaches a certain temperature, I can't change it because that would require me to touch the faucet. Even when shutting off the faucet, I gather some water in one hand and turn off the faucet with the other. Then, I drop the water on the hand that turned the faucet off so it's slightly cleaner.
There are more, like I don't like even numbers (which sounds weird, but they just feel awkward) and I have to feel balanced (if walk a step on the ball of my left foot, I have to do the exact same with my right foot in the next step sort of thing). I think that's about it........
Anyway, it's been getting a little better for a while now. I don't obsess about these things as much anymore, although occasionally I'll find myself putting certain things exactly whe4re I picked them up etc. So I guess I'm making progress...
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2007 8:54 pm
I'm not permitted to be diagnosed... >.> I mean, most of my friends, in fact at least half of my friends have been diagnosed with some form of ADD or ADHD. Another quarter have been diagnosed with Depression. I feel quite bad for them because it's my opinion that having emotions or being a hyper little kid isn't an illness, as much as the parents wish that they could just pop a pill on their kids and make it go away. Though, I do understand that there are many people who legitimately need the medication, I really don't think as many people as are diagnosed actually have it. ;>-> Ahem, anyway....
As I said, my grandmother (whom I live with) won't send me anywhere with someone who has a degree in brains 'cause she doesn't believe in them, but I know that I have a strange detachment and almost refuse to get emotional about anything. Or, I'll get emotional about anything. When my grandpa got cancer and went to get it removed, I couldn't bring myself to cry or even feel sad. However, just a month ago, a song had made me cry.
I have no idea if there's a name for it, though I'm sure there's one and a medication for it somewhere. Any suggestions? sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:44 pm
I've been psychoanalysed numerous amounts of times, and diagnosed with everything ranging from ADHD to schizophrenia. The psychiatrist I went to finally decided that I was bi-polar almost six months ago and I was prescribed Lithium doses.
The Lithium, to put it bluntly, 'zombie-fied' me. I didn't get horribly depressed anymore, but I was also unable to feel happy. This completely crushed my creative spark, which sucked because I'm a musician.
Being bi-polar is quite different as some people may think. I know a lot of my friends basically thought it was manic depression with a fancy name. But the thing is, yes I am manic depressive and get depressed quickly for seemingly no reason, but I am also manic hyperactive. I buzz. Like being on drugs or drinking but without the artificial substances. I don't get many in betweens. I don't have calm periods, where I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm either chirpy and bouncy and buzzing, or I'm down and self-loathing and usually crying.
What doesn't help with this is that I also have panic attacks, which are quite severe. In fact, they think that it might be the beginnings of on set epilepsy, which scares the -insert expletative here- out of me.
When I have a panic attack, my mind blanks out. I move, react and mumble, but when I'm brought out of it (usually by my best mate, who's always around) I don't remember it happening, I have no memory of the period between the start of the attack and the end.
To tell the honest truth, I only take my medication occasionally. I don't like being in a situation where my thoughts say 'This makes me happy' but my brain produces very little to no emotive reaction. I work better having my highs and lows. I've learnt how to fight through the lows, so it's no longer as if I'm endangering myself.
Well, there's my little thing about my conditions. If anyone has any questions, I'm happy to talk about it.
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:36 am
Yeah, I know it's all been said and done, but I also used to suffer from OCD, but more or less paranoia.
Again, like what Kindyetcruel, I share a lot of those symptoms. And like himself, it was the whole hand washing thing, and it was only bad when I was a kid. But it means that my hands are now permanently damaged because of it. My skin is always dry and flaky, and even the doctors are puzzled about them and no matter how much skin cream they give me, it just doesn't work. My hand washing rituals aren't as extreme as they used to be, but I still always have to wash my hands about twice after I've been to the bathroom, before I touch food, etc. The weirdest habit I still have though is in the mornings, when I go to the toilet, i then wash my hands, and then I take a shower, and even when I'm in the shower, I have the urge to wash my hands BEFORE i begin washing myself. and before I finish, I STILL have to wash my hands.
But at least it wasn't as bad as it was. I also had a terrible dose of paranoia. I'm not talking about the typical paranoia where you think people are talking about you behind your back, I'm talking about my paranoia going to an extent of not even eating. I would see adverts on the TV about food poisoning or how uncooked chicken can make you sick, and I panicked so much about food, I literally starved myself so much that I was sick. In fact, I remember one night being REALLy hungry, and when my mum made me dinner, i almost threw up trying to eat it.
My grandparents were even concerned about it. My grandma actually thought I ws going to starve myself to death and always got upset whenever she saw me. I became so weak, that even simple tasks like walking about made me feel faint and difficult to do. I was far too thin and it was all because my paranoia was so strong, that it distorted the way i saw things, and even though my mum would cook a perfect meal, in my eyes, I would see dirt, filth, germs. And thus refused to eat it.
In fact, my paranoia became so bad, I spent every night since I was 9 years old, to about 12, praying to god "If I die before I wake, I pray for the lord for my soul to take", even though I'm not christian, because every night I thought I was never going to wake up again as soon as I fell asleep.
But I absolutely love my best friend, and cannot give her anymore credit for curing me. All because of her, she changed my life around.
I think I mainly suffered from this because I was HORRIBLY bullied as a child, and VERY severly, and I didn't have any friends at all to talk to about my problems, until I met my best friend Jessica.
It was thanks to her that she made me better. What her and her mum did was make a meal that had chicken in it, but didn't tell me what it was. So after I finished eating (although my stomach wasn't used to eating too much, so I couldn't finish it), Jesi THEN told me it was chicken. suddenly my head filled with thoughts and fears of food poisoning and how I was going to be ill, but when the next day came and realised that I hadn't been poisoned, I then became more secure about eating meat.
And gradually, I ate more and more. Now no one can stop me from eating! XD
But again, Kindyetcruel has described everything else about OCD. I was undiagnosed too, but I can tell the symptoms were there. The freakiest thing to think about is, I didn't even know I had it until I became better.
But for the meantime, the only thing that exsists in my constant hand washing, but it;s not just out of compulsion, it's also more or less about hygeine.
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:42 am
Starry Eyed Delilah I've been psychoanalysed numerous amounts of times, and diagnosed with everything ranging from ADHD to schizophrenia. The psychiatrist I went to finally decided that I was bi-polar almost six months ago and I was prescribed Lithium doses.
The Lithium, to put it bluntly, 'zombie-fied' me. I didn't get horribly depressed anymore, but I was also unable to feel happy. This completely crushed my creative spark, which sucked because I'm a musician.
Being bi-polar is quite different as some people may think. I know a lot of my friends basically thought it was manic depression with a fancy name. But the thing is, yes I am manic depressive and get depressed quickly for seemingly no reason, but I am also manic hyperactive. I buzz. Like being on drugs or drinking but without the artificial substances. I don't get many in betweens. I don't have calm periods, where I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm either chirpy and bouncy and buzzing, or I'm down and self-loathing and usually crying.
What doesn't help with this is that I also have panic attacks, which are quite severe. In fact, they think that it might be the beginnings of on set epilepsy, which scares the -insert expletative here- out of me.
When I have a panic attack, my mind blanks out. I move, react and mumble, but when I'm brought out of it (usually by my best mate, who's always around) I don't remember it happening, I have no memory of the period between the start of the attack and the end.
To tell the honest truth, I only take my medication occasionally. I don't like being in a situation where my thoughts say 'This makes me happy' but my brain produces very little to no emotive reaction. I work better having my highs and lows. I've learnt how to fight through the lows, so it's no longer as if I'm endangering myself.
Well, there's my little thing about my conditions. If anyone has any questions, I'm happy to talk about it. wow.
no you've got me wondering if I am bi-polar. I am either very hyperactive and upbeat, or very low and depressed.
Mind you, I do have my calm state of minds, so I probably don't have it.
I think that's just my ol' paranoia kicking in again. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Aug 05, 2007 11:19 am
It's possible that I may have either manic depression or schizophrenia, but I'm a bit young to tell, so the doctors have put me on a medicine that will supposedly take care of the disorder I have. I also have moderate ocd, and social related anxiety. If anyone wants to talk I'm here! <3
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 5:11 am
NikiPaprika Yeah, I know it's all been said and done, but I also used to suffer from OCD, but more or less paranoia.
Again, like what Kindyetcruel, I share a lot of those symptoms. And like himself, it was the whole hand washing thing, and it was only bad when I was a kid. But it means that my hands are now permanently damaged because of it. My skin is always dry and flaky, and even the doctors are puzzled about them and no matter how much skin cream they give me, it just doesn't work. My hand washing rituals aren't as extreme as they used to be, but I still always have to wash my hands about twice after I've been to the bathroom, before I touch food, etc. The weirdest habit I still have though is in the mornings, when I go to the toilet, i then wash my hands, and then I take a shower, and even when I'm in the shower, I have the urge to wash my hands BEFORE i begin washing myself. and before I finish, I STILL have to wash my hands. Oh man. I wasn't even thinking of shower rituals when I posted in here. Mine's pretty similar to yours. If I use the toilet before a shower, I have to wash my hands then, and first before anything else while I'm in the shower. After I wash my hair I've got a 50/50 chance of washing my hands again. At the end of the shower after I'm done rinsing off and all, I'll wash them yet again, and dry my face off with a towel before getting two others to dry off with, one of which gets wrapped around my waist (Which I have to use 3 of them or it makes me feel like the whole shower was a waste of time.) And then after I finish getting dressed, I have to wash my hands one last time before leaving the bathroom. Luckily though, my hands arn't perminantly damaged in the same way as yours. Just the nerves a bit where I've got a low sense of heat in them, and where its pretty easy in heat or cold for them to become bright red.
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 2:50 am
Schizophrenia. That's about it.
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Sand From The Future(GTD)
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 3:38 pm
"Melissa has a strong inferiority complex where she always feels like she has screwed up in some way. She cannot ask for help because she is so ashamed of herself for not knowing what to do no matter what it is about. She also has terrible paranoia where she always is looking over her shoulder at her room mates because she thinks that one of them might hurt or kill her and she always locks all of her doors, no matter what even if she is only going to be alone for two minutes. She is also plauge by nightmares and nightterrors almost every night which kind of makes her feel a little crazy. She use to have minor hallucinations but she is better now though she still does hear things on occassion, only people calling her name though."
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