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Well ok.....so I'm more aggravated than stress. I'm also keeping many many sharp objects away from myself at the moment. My problem seems to be...well many things actually.

My mom died three years ago, that scarred me deeply. two years after her death my grandma died of the same exact cause, which made it worse. Now, only two weeks after my mother's birthday my dad has a girlfriend....and that's only the beginning.

I used to be really really depressed, so much that I failed a grade. (I should be a sophmore(sp?) this year...I'm only a freshman) And the problem with that is the people that were in my original grade used to call me names, because I'm super tall and I used to be rather large. They called me ogre....which wouldnt be so hurtful if it wasnt for the fact that my mom was dying at the time they started calling me that. So Now I'm worried that they're to restart it....and I really don't want that stress.

Also, in my group of friends I'm always the happy one. I have this little problem where I put all of the sadness that I have and place it in a little tiny box in the back of my mind, and the thing is I'll explode once in a while. Just a few seconds ago all of this stuff just exploded out of me and I almost started hurting myself again which is why I'm typing this, because I don't want to do something stupid.

I'm also stressing over what I'm going to do in the next four years...I mean I WANT to be a psychologist...but to do that I need to get rid of my own problems, and I'm afraid that my grades wont be good enough...or that I wont be good enough, to become a psychologist...and honestly it's the only thing I'm good at...helping people, I mean. But right now I'm just so stressed and so depressed I'm worried so much over so many things.

There's so much more stuff I could talk about...but right now I can't technially think straight and this is all I can get down without exploding again. And so now I'm wondering...what are some better methods to getting rid of this pain? I used to cry before I slept but it never worked....and I cant do the whole 'opening myself infront of others' so yeah....so what do you think?