Little girls......growing up too fast?

[Olya]

Kukushka

Before we say "girls are growing up too fast these days" - let us remember that it wasn't uncommon in the past for a girl to be married and with child at 12-13.

Physically, girls in North America do "grow up" faster than those in Europe. The average age to start menstruating in Europe is 12-13. In the US, it's around 9. The reason for this is all the hormones farmers in the US put into meat. In Europe, they have very strict restrictions against that sort of thing.

As for 8 year old girls dressed like adults (if adults even dress that way!), I am inclined to agree. I mean, I know perfectly well that 150 years ago, girls that age would be working 15 hours a day in factories and that this whole notion of "childhood" is a very modern concept. But it still feels very wrong to have children dressing in a way you wouldn't even want to see a 20 year old dressed. It's not really this generation, either. Even when I was a kid, my classmates were starting on all these things. I knew all about sex when I was 12 - not because we had good sex ed in school but because one of my classmates was known as a "complete slut" and had gotten pregnant.

I think the worst part of it is when parents actively encourage that kind of behavior. For example, I used to work in a toy store where we sold, among other things, Hello Kitty makeup kits. A mom came in with a 9-10-ish year old daughter. The daughter was wearing very fashionable clothing - low cut tight jeans, tank top, fancy jacket, etc... The mom picked up a Hello Kitty makeup kit and put it on the counter. I made a joke about "gettin' 'em while their young" and she gave me the evil eye. She started growling at me that it's "important to teach girls how to dress properly and put makeup on while they are still young so that they won't be confused when they are old enough!" The mother was essentially forcing her daughter to dress and act like an adult (I assume act, because those tight pants don't exactly look like you could run around and play "it" in them) so that she wouldn't have to learn how to act in that way when she was old enough to. How messed up is that logic? We're already adults for most of our lives, can't we spend a small portion of our time as children?

After reading the last bit about the kid and the mom, I had to quote this post. lol
I also entirely disagree with the statement that girls are growing up too fast today. A hundred and fifty years ago I'd be an old maid for not marrying before eighteen. So, at my seventeen and three quarters I am way past my prime. wink
But I really have to wonder whether these girls that the first post is referring too aren't growing up fast enough. I look at some of these eight-year olds and I see entirely useless and immature people. Being an adult does not mean dressing like a scank or knowing about sex just as much as the corner hooker. I spent good deal of my life in Europe and when I recall myself and my friends at around the same age, I have to say that we were a lot more adult-like than today's children. Wake up at six every day, go to school for good six to seven hours (depending on how many classes we had that day), come home and heat up something to eat (parents, grandparents, and other relatives are all working), do homework till six or seven (if you're lucky), have shower, a snack, watch some TV, and fall asleep at nine. And on weekend there are numerous chores that you have to do because everyone in the house is busy, tired, and expects help. Sure, maybe it’s not an ideal childhood, but it prepares you for adult life a hell of a lot better than a make-up kit.
Adult=responsibility. And when I look around my first reaction is "for god's sake's make this kid do some work for his/her own good!"
As for parents encouraging this sort of behaviour from their kids, it is creepy. Yes, you must teach your little girl to colour-coordinate, to be neat, and to take care of her own appearance... But what does that have to do with makeup or skimpy clothes? I'm pretty sure that it does not take years and years of practice to apply "war paint." And nobody is going to be confused about anything. I'm sure that even a three-year old knows where the eyeliner goes and how it is applied. But hey, we're a sex-crazed culture, and so we have kids make-up kits and tiny skirts sold in a department for ages three to five... People, buy your kids some Lego's, please! sweatdrop
Somebody has to tell some of these mommies that looking like a Barbie will get their kids nowhere...  

[Olya]

Kukushka

Agreed. There's a privileging of the "grown up" image, but the priorities do seem very skewed. I've seen 16-18-20 year olds whining that their parents are so "unfair" for making them unload the dishwasher once a week. This sense of entitlement or privilege, the sense that they ought to be babied as though they were incapable of doing anything for themselves but at the same time ought to have all the independence of an adult. It's very strange and, when I was growing up in Europe, completely unheard of. It's getting more common there now too, unfortunately.

Masticatius - You bring up a very good point. I would just like to state that I don't think the obsession with material things (designer clothing, for example) is healthy - for anyone and especially for a child. If they are trying to look pretty, that's fine. Lord knows I did that sort of thing when I was little too (though I preferred leopard prints - it was the 80s, after all). It's also not a terrible thing for parents to indulge kids a certain amount. But spending a fortune on designer clothes for children does nothing but raise a generation of compulsive consumers. Couple that with babying your kids and not giving them a healthy number of chores and you end up with irresponsible compulsive consumers.

Yep! It's getting very common there now. Last summer I was visiting my grandparents and almost dropped when I saw kids a few years younger than I dressing in ways that I would never dream of. I guess my age group is the last of workaholics. cool
And we are razing a generation of compulsive buyers. Labels matter more than design it seems... And please tell me why a fifth grader needs a cell phone! Somehow between teaching the kids how to be "cool" and attractive (although I'd still like to question the attraction of sluttishness) we forget to teach them the useful things that they really need. No designer clothes will ever land you a job, or make people like you, or provide meaningful relationships, or make a worth-wile person out of you. Beauty is a lovely thing as long as there is something underneath to compliment it.