Welcome to Gaia! ::

Of all the creatures in all the worlds, humans are undoubtedly the most ignorant, foolish, and arrogant. They are supremely convinced of their superiority and refuse to se it any other way. They are the top of the line—the best—and that’s that. Their society is so self-absorbed that the small, everyday happenings are lost on them. So they go on their way, convinced that the world is exactly as they see it.

This could not be farther from the truth.

Blind to the human eye, there are things in this world that know the secrets of the deep. Creatures that thrive in darkness and creatures that live for the dawn. There are fairies under every hill, angels and demons behind every window. Werewolves are on every street and vampires in every nightclub. Immortals walk their own paths, twitching and changing the rules of the universe on a whim. And humans remain oblivious.

My name is Nathan Mordin, and I was born with the gift—the curse—of being able to see these other worlds. Why and how I was given this ability remains a mystery. My mother is a perfectly normal waitress. I know nothing about my father, as she refused to speak of him when I was a child. He hasn’t turned up yet, and I’m not holding my breath.

Regardless of my rather mysterious father, I grew up as normal as a kid who sees unicorns in his backyard and brownies in the kitchen can. My mother, of course, could not see the things I could and got tired of my “claims” that Gus, the baby wyvern that lived in my sock drawer, ate my homework. After a while, I stopped telling her the truth about things—like the reason there was never more than a handful of ice in the freezer was that an ice gnome lived in the back. She didn’t believe me anyway.

These other worlds existed everywhere, and the things that belonged to them were not always good and harmless. There are demons, vampires, and creatures that never see the light of day prowling the darkness. They kill humans for food and fae for sport with no remorse, and more than a little enjoyment.

As a child, I was protected from these horrors by a clan of fairies that lived nearby. They showed me ways to protect myself. Sliver and iron work well on most creatures and none of them like fire. Then you have your garlic, salt, water, mirrors, etc. Of course to use these, you have to know what you’re dealing with. Garlic and sliver work with vampires, but don’t do a thing for pit creepers. Needless to say, identifying the common creatures was a big part of my education.

As I got older, I also learned magic. Not the kind you see in movies—real magic. There is no waving you arms around and incantations are rarely used. All that is needed to cast a spell is concentration and a bit of stubbornness. The latter I had in spades, and the former came with a bit of practice. You see, there is magic lying dormant in all things both living and nonliving. To cast a spell, I concentrate on what I want to do, draw in the magic from wherever and mold it to the form I need. There are spoken runes that can be used as well. They change what the spell does and how hard it is to cast.

Most of the wards I learned as a child required written runes, because they don’t take as much discipline. There are other protective magics that allowed me to keep those close to me safe as well. But the rebel in me refused to be content with defensive magic, and I begged the fairies to teach me offensive spells. At first, the fairies refused. Being the typically determined fourteen-year-old boy, I decided to try it on my own. I attempted a basic energy ball, but it quickly grew out of my control and nearly destroyed a 400 year old oak tree in my neighbor’s backyard. After that, the fairies had no arguments about teaching me offensive magic, as long as I swore not to try any more on my own. I was all too happy to comply, and four years later, I had mastered the arts as much as a human was able. Magic was not made for humans. It takes a lot of energy and strength to cast a spell, sometimes more than a mere human could have.

I once asked the fairies why the even bothered with me, and got a typically cryptic answer that still doesn’t make much sense to me. As a child, I was always curious to a fault, which is how I found the fairy mound in the first place. As I got older, my curiosity continued to grow, as did my protectiveness of those around me. I cast wards all around the house and gave my friends protective charms to wear. I didn’t tell them what they were, of course, but it made me feel better. Just because the evil creatures don’t usually come out during the day doesn’t mean they can’t.

When I was a junior in high school, a howler showed up at my school looking for me and attacked a freshman. While the teachers and students ran around screaming in confusion as the monster they couldn’t see plowed through them, I stole down to the cafeteria and grabbed a salt shaker. I quickly dispelled the howler with a simple binding spell and a pinch of salt, but I wasn’t fast enough to save the girl. The look in her eyes as she realized she was dying has always stayed with me. I didn’t even know her name. The police showed up later and the official report said that she had a heart attack. The funeral was three days later.

Ever since that day, I have felt responsible for protecting those around me, whether or not I know them, because I can see the dangers and they cannot. I have been fighting a largely losing battle against the things that would harm humans since I graduated from college. I work freelance mostly, as a bodyguard or hired hand. There is only one of me, however, and an unlimited number of enemies.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I supressed a sigh. I have always wondered why the world is so complicated. Why, God, did you have to drop a tielfing on my doorstep at three am?? After a slightly uncomfortable pause, Hays continued.

"I picked up Danielle from the daycare last Friday and came home to find my wife’s dog, Sophie, had chewed up her favorite toy. She cried all night. By morning, she was fine, and I thought nothing of it.” He gulped. “I worked from home Saturday. I left Sophie and Danielle downstairs playing. I was in my office, and I heard the dog cry the most awful sound.” Hays shuddered. “I ran downstairs, and found Danielle and Sophie in the living room. Sophie was on the carpet, crying, with Danielle standing a few feet away.” He paused. “All four of Sophie’s legs were broken and blood was coming out of her nose and mouth. I checked Danielle, but she was unharmed. In fact, she looked…happy. She watched Sophie crying and…looked like she enjoyed it.” Hays whispered. “I ran Sophie to the vet and they set her legs and kept her overnight. The vet couldn’t explain why she had been bleeding, and it suddenly stopped shortly after he looked at her.” Hays shook his head. “She died two days later. The vet said she became very jumpy at the sight of people, and stopped eating period.” I let out a sigh and looked over at the small girl. She hugged her teddy bear and stared back at me with her knowing gold eyes. I smiled at her, although I knew it looked fake, and then turned back to her father.

“I just…I don’t know what to do.” Hays said. He took a deep breath. “What’s wrong with my daughter, Mr. Mordin? Is she…possessed or something? Can you cure her?” He looked at me, looking hopeful.

I took a deep breath. s**t. What was I supposed to tell him? I could tell that he didn’t believe in demons by the way he said ‘possessed’ and I was willing to bet he wouldn’t believe in magic either. So how much should I tell him? That his precious Danielle wasn’t actually human? Well, he probably already knew that. No human baby would grow that fast. Surely he didn’t really think that being possessed could make a child grow ten times as fast as she should. It wasn’t possible. Period. But then again, he didn’t know that. He loved her and obviously was willing to pay money to ‘fix’ her so she was as normal humanly possible. I didn’t think I had the heart to tell him that it simply wasn’t possible. She was not human.

The real question was: What could I do about it? I could take her in, and keep an eye on her. I didn’t know if my magic was powerful enough to bind a tiefling, but I could try. I looked around the room at the swords hanging on the wall, at the knife hidden under the coffee table, and the secret drawer across the room with my backup gun in it. No. I couldn’t take her. It was too dangerous, and one of us would probably get killed. If I failed, it would probably be me.

My eyes strayed across the phone by the door. Then it hit me. I couldn’t take her, but I knew someone who could. Adrian took in strays all the time, most of them orphans from some magical or otherworldly disaster, and brought them up with the necessary skills to ensure their survival in a world where demons rarely leave survivors alone for long. And she was one of the more powerful binding mages in the area. I sighed, wondering how much I was going to have to owe her this time.

“No, Mr. Hays, your daughter is not possessed.” I said, watching the hope drain from his eyes, followed by uncertainty. “I know a woman who may be able to help you. Her name is Adrian Marcus and she runs a…well, a boarding school of sorts. She deals with special cases, like your daughter. I can give her a call if you like.” Adrian was better with people than me. She could explain everything.

Hays thought about it for a moment, his eyes flicking over to Danielle. He must have loved his wife dearly, I thought, and wanted a family very badly. Deep down, I didn’t think he would agree, and wondered what I could do if he refused Adrian’s help. Well, that was easy. Nothing. Nothing that wouldn’t get me or someone else hurt. Adrian was my only bet. God, please let him agree.

“All right.” He said finally. I nodded, genuinely surprised, and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Hays looked over at his daughter sadly, as though he were trying to memorize her image. I stood up, feeling very intrusive in this family moment.

“I’ll give Adrian a call. Why don’t you talk to her?” I said with my best comforting smile. It would all work out. Right.

Hays nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Mordin.” He murmured.

“Just call me Nathan.” I corrected. “And it’s no problem.” With another nod, I quietly walked into the kitchen to call Adrian, giving Hays and his daughter some privacy.

Adrian picked up on the third ring, and her soft South African accent purred in my ear. “Hello, Nathan.” Clearly she still had Caller ID.
“Hey, Adrian, I need to ask you a favor.” I said bluntly. Might as well get to the point. Long distance phone calls were expensive enough these days.

“What kind of favor?” She sounded a little suspicious. She knew what I did for a living, so I suppose it was to be expected. But it still hurt a bit. Adrian and I went way back, and we were lovers once upon a time when we were both much younger. Now we were friends and occasionally worked together. Most of my clients were sent over her way at some point or another. Her brother, Jacob, was an exceptional healer, which is always handy in my line of work.

“I have a two month old tiefling in my living room, and I was wondering if you had any space for her at your place.” I left out the story about Sophie and the fact that her father was determined to have a normal family. Some things just shouldn’t be said over the phone. I’d tell her later in person. Honest.

“A tiefling? My, you are a busy man, Nathan.” She teased. I gave an exasperated sigh, but she continued before I could say any more. “Yes, I may have a place for her. Mark and I will be over there to pick her up shortly." She said. Mark was a friend of the family, and often helped Adrian with the strays she picked up, as the boys were more comfortable around a man. "Is she powerful?” She asked. I laughed.

“No doubt about it. She scared the hell out of her father, and he brought her to me.” There was silence on the other end of the line. I was about to say goodbye and hang up, when Adrian answered.

“Nathan, I know you’re not used to tieflings, so be careful. If she gets angry, things may get very messy very quickly.” She said mildly. I nodded. Great.

“Thanks for the tip.” I heard a crash from the living room followed by a surprised shout, and another crash. “Hell.” I muttered.

“Nathan?” Adrian asked uncertainly.

“I gotta go. I’ll see you soon.” I said quickly, hanging up. Oh, please, God, don’t let her have broken anything expensive, I prayed as I hurried down the hall. I didn’t have many expensive things, but I didn’t want to replace them, either. When I gently opened the door to the living room and looked inside, my jaw hung open.

The room was trashed. The bookshelves against the wall had been turned over and books were strewn across the room. The pictures on the wall had fallen down and the glass had shattered, crunching under my feet, and the pair of matching end tables I’d bought last year now resembled kindling for a fire. It looked like a tornado had swept through my house. Hays stood in the center of the room with his hands held out imploringly in front of him. Danielle stood near the wall under the crossed swords, holding her teddy bear clutched to her chest. Her long hair was blown about her by a violent wind I couldn’t feel, and her eyes were glowing with a power that made my hair stand on end. I walked forward to stand slightly behind the couch, my hand itching to go for my gun. I really didn’t want to shoot her, but I wasn’t about to stand there and let her tear my house apart. I gripped the handle of the gun with my left hand, hoping that I wouldn’t need it. Messy indeed.

Danielle turned and saw me and the fury that blossomed in her eyes was nearly enough to make my stomach shrivel up. She glared at me, and I stared back, determined not to give an inch. We locked gazes, and a slow smile spread across her small, angelic face. A chill crept down my spine, and my arms tensed instinctively.

Suddenly the couch burst into flames, catching part of my shirt on fire. I cursed and dove to the side, rolling to put out the flames licking up my shirtsleeve and the back of my shirt. Her father shouted something, but my brain was otherwise occupied, and I didn’t catch it. Finally, the fire was smothered out and I stood up, my whole left arm and part of my back throbbing in pain.

“I won’t let you take me away.” She said, her voice rippling with anger and power that seemed so wrong coming out of a child. “I’m not going anywhere. You can’t make me.” Her voice was challenging.

“Danielle,” I said, “I’m not going to make you do anything.” I replied in a soothing voice. She laughed.

“Then why do you have a gun?” She snapped. My gun suddenly was pulled out of my grip to fly across the room. I lunged for it and missed. It landed safely in a corner away from Hays, Danielle, and me. Hays stared at me, shocked.

“Nathan?” His voice held an echo of confusion in it.

“Not so powerful without your gun, are you, Mr. Mordin?” Danielle said. Her small voice made it sound more like a playground taunt than anything. She gave a grin, and closed her eyes. The shattered glass from the picture frames slowly rose up and not-so-slowly flew at me, angled for my heart.

“Oh, no you don’t.” I muttered. I raised my hands, quickly drew the magic out of the ground and shouted a Word of power, letting my hands form a barrier between the two of us. The glass shards stopped in midair as they hit my magic. Danielle frowned, closing her eyes tighter, and the shards began to shake, pushing against the force holding them at bay. I took a deep, steadying breath and held my ground.

“What the…?” Hays said, staring in shock between his daughter and me. I glanced at him, my concentration giving slightly as I remembered he was standing in the middle of this, unprotected. Danielle took advantage of my temporary distraction and with a cry of triumph from her, a piece of glass moved around my magic and imbedded itself in my right shoulder. I growled and reinforced the magic barrier, trying to think of a way I could protect myself and Hays. I didn’t think that Danielle would harm him on purpose, but I didn’t think she had the control to keep him safe while concentrating that hard on my destruction.

A rattling noise coming from the windows distracted me, and I swallowed a curse as one of the windows broke inward, the pieces flying toward my unprotected back like a magnet. I threw out my right hand, and deflected the glass shards to the side, wincing as some of the first volley broke through my weakened defenses and sliced into me.

Through the broken window, I heard Adrian call my name from the front steps. Someone was pounding on the door, and had been for some time, judging by the intensity of the knocking. I was about to shout for them to enter, when I heard a groan. I looked over at Hays, and saw he was covered in blood. Huge spikes of glass had impaled him in the stomach and chest, and he stared at Danielle as the light slowly faded from his eyes. Seemingly in slow motion, he fell down, and Danielle ran forward as he hit the ground. The glass shards pushing against my magic were released and fell to the ground with a delicate noise that belied their earlier malevolence.

My door was kicked in with a crash, and suddenly Mark was standing in the doorway with Adrian at his back. They both stood silently as Danielle knelt down by her father, tears glittering in her old infant’s eyes. With a sigh, he died quietly in the middle of my living room, and Danielle looked up at me with a deep hatred. Before she or I could do anything, Adrian stepped in the room and walked past the charred couch, her feet crunching the glass into the carpeting. She knelt down near Danielle.

“Come, little one.” She said softly, her voice full of sympathy and power. Adrian is very good at calming people. It’s one of her gifts. “It is time to go.” She held out her hand to the girl, who stared at her a moment, before rising slowly, blood staining the hem of her cheerful play dress. She took Adrian’s offered hand, her pale skin bright against Adrian’s dark copper tones. I stepped aside to let the pair of them pass. They walked by me without a word or a glance.

Mark walked in the room and stood next to me, surveying the room. “Do you want help with the body?” He asked. I gave a sigh and looked over at Hays and the blood pooling around him.

“No, I’ll call Harper in a few hours and have him cleanse it for me.” I said. Harper was a necromancer, and was exceptionally good at cleaning up messes like this. Somehow I doubted my carpet would ever be the same, but carpets were replaceable. People weren’t. I heaved a huge sigh and Mark put his hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

“Sometimes things just get out of control, and there’s nothing you can do.” He said softly. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.” I smiled bleakly at Mark. Nothing I could do. It was a nice thought, although we both knew it wasn’t true.

“Thanks.”

“Go see to that arm, you’re bleeding all over.” Mark said, worrying tracing the corner of his eyes. I looked down at the cuts in my shoulder and side and the burn on my other arm in mild surprise. I’d totally forgotten about them.

“You’d better get going or Adrian is going to leave without you.” I told him, turning away.

Mark nodded. “Sure.” He nodded to me and quietly left, his blonde hair giving him a halo in the soft light as he disappeared through the door.

The headline of the newspaper the next day said Jonathan Hays had apparently fallen out a third story window in a hotel and died on impact, complete with witnesses and a police statement. Harper was very good at what he did and that was the last I heard of it. But I was right. My carpet never looked the same.

...Keep going...

All I wanted to do when I got home was collapse on my bed and not move for several hours. I stumbled up the steps and fumbled in the dim streetlight for my keys. My hands were slow and my brain felt like it was full of cobwebs. A thump from inside the house brushed away the cobwebs, and I drew my gun with my good right hand, the lethargy from a moment before gone. Something was in my house.

Carefully, I tested the door. It was unlocked, and I pushed it open. The well oiled hinges didn’t make a sound, and I crept quietly into the destroyed hallway. The vase of fake flowers had been overturned, and the mirrors hanging on the wall had all been smashed. There was blood on the floor. Lots of blood. A noise was coming from down the hall in my bedroom. Walking slowly, I crept down the hallway, every muscle tense. I leaned forward until I could see through the partially opened door, and a gasp slipped out before I could stop it.

A werewolf was standing on all fours in the middle of my bedroom, tearing into a pillow with fury. Its back was probably even with my waist and blood covered its four paws and its jaw. As I gasped, it looked up at me with an intense anger and growled. I raised my gun and fired a few shots. I always carry silver bullets because they tend to work better on undead. Thank you God for small coincidences.

One of the shots exploded into the werewolf’s shoulder, and it was thrown back a step. It growled at me and turned, quickly moving out of my small line of sight. I heard a crash and breaking glass. I ran forward and burst into the room, gun first, but was too late. One of the windows was broken, and the werewolf was gone. I lowered my gun and looked around the alien room.

The room had been torn apart, and blood splattered over everything. There was a thick dark puddle in the middle of the floor and werewolf prints all over the room. I tasted bile as I looked around at my ruined sanctuary. Taking a deep breath, I moved to follow the bloody path down the hallway. That much blood meant that something had been attacked in my room. It looked like whatever it was had ran down the hallway to the kitchen, and I followed slowly.

In the hallway, I heard sobs. Of all the creatures on the earth, only humans were given the ability to cry. I skidded on the blood in my sudden haste and quickly pushed open the kitchen door, praying that I had heard wrong, that it was a stray dog or cat. But there had been too much blood for that. My breath caught in my throat as I looked in the room.

It was Mandy, my ex-girlfriend.

She was sitting on the floor opposite the door with her knees pulled up to her chest, sobbing uncontrollably. She was covered in blood, and her clothes had been torn in more than one place. Her pretty green eyes were wide and terrified. Quickly scanning the otherwise empty room, I put up the gun and slowly moved forward. There was blood all over the kitchen too, but the white tiles on the walls made a little blood look like a lot. I wove around the broken kitchen with slow and deliberate movements, until I was right in front of Mandy. I knelt down slowly, and she flinched.

“Mandy.” I said softly. Her wide eyes stared at me a moment, and for a second I thought she was too far gone to recognize me. Shock is a nasty thing. But then she gave out a choked cry and flung herself forward, wrapping her small arms around me. She sobbed incoherently into my shoulder, and I patted her gently, not even noticing the pain in the injured shoulder she was crying on. Somehow, her pain seemed so much more important right then.

“It’s going to be alright.” I said softly, praying I wasn’t lying. She stayed like that for several minutes, and I comforted her the best I could. After a bit, she hesitantly let go, and I sat back, looking at her. There was blood smeared across part of her face and a large clump of dried blood in her short hair. A clean trail showed where the tears had flown. She stared at me a moment, and I stared back.

“Nathan.” She said hoarsely. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, tears threatening to escape her large, scared eyes. I smiled, and thought she was more beautiful in that moment than all the fashion models and actresses I’d ever seen. I realized with a jolt that I was still in love with her. She smiled back hesitantly, fear still lurking behind her eyes.

“Don’t worry about it. Now let’s get you somewhere safe.” I stood up and helped her to her feet. Her left pant leg was covered in blood, and she swayed as we stood. She’d been bitten. Sweet Jesus. I caught her as she started to fall, and picked her up. She gave a gasp, and looked surprised. I winked at her and she gave a sigh, leaning her head against my chest. Without another word, I carried her out of the ruined house to my car.

As I set her down in the passenger side of the car I wondered where we could go. She had been bitten by a werewolf, and needed immediate attention. Werewolf bites were very dangerous to mess with, as were the victims. I wondered how long ago she’d been bitten. Judging from the blood I guessed no more than fifteen minutes before I got there. So maybe there was a chance.

Mentally, I ran though a list of people I trusted that could help as I walked over to the driver’s side of the car. Adrian and Jacob, were of course the first choice, but they were both out of town. Mark wasn’t very good with healing, and Josef was four hours far away. I didn’t think she’d make it that long. The list was short, and it didn’t take me long to realize that I really only had one choice. Auriel. He was a sprite that had been banished from the Fairy Kingdom for suspicion of numerous crimes, until he could prove his innocence. That was about 300 years ago, and he had yet to come up with any evidence. I never got along with him, mainly because the b*****d thought that I, as a human, was underneath him. He seemed to get along with everyone but me, probably because I argued with his arrogant statements. But he was damn good with healing. He might be able to help.

I was so preoccupied with Mandy’s safety I didn’t even notice the woman until she spoke. Foolish of me, but it had been a long night.

“Nathan Mordin. Long time no see.” She said from across the street. Through the open window, I heard Mandy whimper. Instinctively, I moved closer to the car to better protect her. The woman walked closer, swaying her hips seductively. Her fishnet shirt showed off an abundance of cleavage and her long dark brown hair hung all the way down her back. She flashed a perfect smile as she rested a pale white hand on a hip. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“Should I?” I asked warily. There was something not right about the woman, although I couldn’t say what it was. Somehow, I didn’t think she was human, but she looked human enough to me. She smiled again, cherry lips framing blindingly white teeth, as she walked forward, her knee high boots clicking on the asphalt.

“I am your death, Nathan Mordin.” She said. Her golden eyes glittered at me angrily. I felt a shock as I stared at her. She was a tiefling, and a powerful one at that.

“Danielle?” I whispered. There was no way the little girl I’d met six months ago had turned into this woman. It didn’t seem possible, even though I knew otherwise. Her smile turned cold.

“You took my family from me, Nathan. And I’m going to make you pay for it.” She laughed, and a chill raced down my spine as I glared at the tiefling. “I’m going to hit you where you least expect it. Your every waking moment will be filled wondering where I will strike next. You will beg for me to stop, but I’m not going to. I’m going to destroy you, Nathan. Piece by bloody piece. I’m going to tear your world apart, and then I’m coming after you.”

Without thinking, I surged forward, drawing my gun. I stopped six or seven feet in front of Danielle and pointed the gun at her, aiming for her forehead.

“Why should I let you do that?” I growled. She laughed. Suddenly, the shadows around the building materialized and several creatures stepped out of them. I glared at Danielle. “I didn’t kill your father.” I said. Her smile faded, and I heard Mandy cry out behind me. My breath caught, and I closed my eyes a second, then looked back at Danielle. Her eyes were cold.

“My father is dead because of your interference, Nathan.” She said. Her voice was soft and deadly. “And you are going to pay for it. Now put down your little gun, or I’ll have them rip her arm off.” Mandy whimpered again, and Danielle smiled. I stared into her dead eyes, and I knew she wasn’t bluffing. Mandy was nothing more than a tool to her, and she wouldn’t lose any sleep over Mandy’s death. I hesitated a second, fighting the urge to shoot the smile off Danielle’s smug face. But Mandy came first. Her safety was my responsibility. I holstered the gun, glaring at Danielle, who smiled.

“Good.” She said, nodding to someone behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see the shadowy shape release Mandy, fading back into the black night. I looked back at Danielle, fuming. “I’ll see you later, Nathan.” She whispered, blowing me a kiss. With a laugh, she turned around and walked away, disappearing into the shadows in a matter of seconds. The shadow creatures disappeared with her.

I walked over to the car to find Mandy sitting in the passenger side already. I got in the driver side and looked over at her. She was shaking again, although she seemed alright otherwise. I started to say something, but she interrupted me.

“Can we go?” She said quickly, her voice pitched a bit higher than normal. I nodded and turned on the engine. Mandy relaxed as I pulled out into the street, heading for Auriel, who lived on the other side of town.

She was silent all the way there. I figured she was still processing what she’d seen. When we dated, I never told Mandy what I did for a living. There are some things that should not be said, and I thought ignorance would keep her safe. Apparently I’d been wrong. Very wrong. I just hoped my naïveté wouldn’t cost her life.

I suppose I can't say much about the writing style flopping as you said it was an early draft.

The story is getting more interesting (and what the heck is up with the cat?) not to mention unpredictable. Just a little ... fast I suppose. The plot thickened very quickly (I could add a simile, but someone wouldn't appriciate it very much). But still quite good in my ... vauge opinion