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Anyways, now too the seriousness of this hopeless post. I'm a bit depressed now(I know you all are thinking "You mean like normal?" but this time is different..). I think I finally realized who is actually someone that cares about me and who isn't. There are a very few that care about me, but they make it obvious that they do. I like that. I just wish that the ones that call themselves my "friend" would stop lying to me. Because honestly, it's pathetic, and does not benefit anyone from your stupidity with lying. I mean, I know you might think that you are someone that cares, but don't kid yourself. You are probably just doing it because you pity me.

Well, I don't want your pity. If you don't like me - Tell Me. Because if you don't tell me, and I find out, I'll be a lot more angry than if you would have just told me. At least when you tell me, I know you are ballsy enough to at least tell me. Not be stupid and hide it until I find out about it.

What's with secrets? I mean seriously, do you always have to hide the honest truth that you with hold inside? I don't get it. There is never really a proper reason to hide how you feel. I mean seriously, what's the point?

On that topic, I found someone. Someone who makes my heart float, puts butterflies in my stomach, and makes me smile just by talking. Yes, I've found it, finally. And I think that there might be more too this one than I had first expected. I always pushed myself away from him, but now, it's ok to be vulnerable. Actually, I want to be vulnerable to him. Because then that means that we will get closer. I still have that voice in the back of my head screaming at me saying "NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!". But I just ignore it.

But then I have to think of the people whom I've hurt because I've finally fallen for someone. There are actually quite a few. I never really intended to make someone like me, it just happens. I don't think I'm that appealing personally, but obviously, they think otherwise. I apologize to those people, profusely. The last thing I really wanted was to hurt them. Not that they'd understand.

Anyways, I really just wanted to get this down on paper. And now I have. I'll continue to listen to that one special song, and I'll hold my head up high in order to continue through each day. Nothing more.