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Over the Weekend
The weekend starting with Friday was complete hell!!! I have alot of anger inside and I don't know where it originates from. This doesn't mean I am a mean person I hide these feelings of anger from my friends. I felt really depressed and wanted to kill myself, but I was able to convince myself that life will get better for me. On Sunday, (today) my sister Sarah came home from college. I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I have a great relationship with my older sister, it's just she's been having alot of problems recently with drugs and alcohol. Alcoholism is a huge part of my family, after years of heavy drinking, my mom has now been in recovery for a year. But I don't know if I like her now. She's just a pest all the time and won't leave me alone. She rags on my 24-7 and complains I don't do enough to help her. I watch my autisitic, little sister after school, who I sometimes have to cook dinner for and give her meds and put her to bed b/c my mom works so late. I then do the dishes and the laundry. I'm sorry, I realized all I was doing was ranting about my life, well I guess that's the point of this journal. It feels good to express myself. It's such a release from all the pressure and responsibilities I have. I guess I might just make a committment to write in this journal. That's one thing I try to do for myself: express my feelings through writing. I usually do it in my notebooks for school. Which probably isn't such a good idea.... sweatdrop I had better stop for today, otherwise I could go on forever. Write back soon!!!
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