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This one of my blog entries from my myspace. I call this to you all. Seeing Death face to face is something you will never forget. I miss this girl very much.
It has been almost 3 years since I overdosed the back to back overdoses. And went to the E.R. and then staying a couple nights in the hospital for observations. It is coming up three years this February 21st, and this March 12th. Those are the dates that I overdosed. After each overdose, I was sent to Rockford Center. The first time at Rockford, I met a girlfriend in there. She was a great help while in there, we eventually had a 10 foot rule on us. Which meant we could not be around eachother, at all. Of course we would break it, once in awhile. She and I still talk to this day. We are not together of course. She is still the same girl back then. Then She got discharged into Day Program before me. Then I got it, then ODed again. I ODed 2 days into the day program. Then ended up back in the hospital for a week then back to Rockford in patient for a bout a month. Well this second trip into in patient. I learn a bit about myself, as I got close to a girl. That was really close to me aswell. We felt a connection, we were room mates. She was my only room mate. Quite honestly, I was glad we were the only one's in that room. Because we fooled around in eachother's bed's everynight. Then one night, towards the end of my second stay at Rockford. She told me that night she loved me. She said "Kris, I love you with all my heart and soul" I held her in my arms as she said that. I kissed her forehead, and kept her warm. Then I fell asleep, she got up. I felt her leave my arms, she went into the shower. She turned on the shower, I heard the shower. And then I drifted to sleep again, since it was 12am. Then I woke up around 5 am, to use the bathroom. Well, the shower was still on, and there she was hanging up a bedsheet in the bathroom shower. I saw her hanging there, lifeless. I cried, I just broke down and cried. I forgot about using the bathroom. I took her down from the shower head, and carried her out to my bed. And held her like I always did, and cried. And kissed her forehead. She was wet and cold. I was just so scared. I never told anyone, until that night. Because I loved her soo much, and I didn't want to see her go. She had no family support, she had no one but me. I finally got out, and went to the treatment center. I never told anyone there about her because it broke my heart to talk about it. It still does but I have to talk about it. She only had 4 lines for a obitiouarty in the newspaper. Thanks to me, I couldn't get anymore. I had little to no money, I wish I could have written more. I got her a gravestone. That cost me a pretty penny I will let you know that. I was the only one at her furneal. And I have been the only one that visits her grave. No one else goes to her grave. I love you my angel. You will always be in my heart. heart heart heart
lostsoulandkitten · Wed May 23, 2007 @ 10:50pm · 2 Comments |
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