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exposed mind (the beginning) |
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sorry i put this off for a while, too much to do you know?
well this is the start of my new blog series, my other ranting one will obviously be posted at random, only when im on a warpath of some sort.
well anywho, lets get started!
im not one to share whats on my mind, but hopefully this will relieve the pent up tension and stress that ive been holding in for so long. alright, im gonna cut the long talk about my life up until this point, if u honestly want to know that, just ask me, got it? Ok now that we got that settled...
have you ever had one of those days which seem neutral and ok, and then only for a second, something good happens, and you wonder if it even happened? ive been having those days frequently now for some time. So far ive started to believe that those little good moments, never happened. All of my good moments have happened in the past, even if they are few and scattered, they are precious to me. the reason why i am feeling this way is because of the entire male population up at my highschool. they are ignorant, egocentric, vulgar,boorish, macho, egotistical , asses. Not one of them has the mental ability to stand on their own, and not think of what everyone else would think. they all follow the crowd and does what everyone else thinks that they should do. i say ******** them! if they arent smart enough to be true to themselves and to their heart, then they arent even worth a glance in my eyes.
((this is starting to sound like a warpath, but ill keep it at bruising with sporks for now))
mmk ill simmer down...
well u see, lately, ive had random "head over heels" fazes with some people i know, and finally they've started to pass. ive realized for quite some time that i do this because my mind is wanting a partner to share things with, and not of the same sex, but from a different point of view. but the rest of me, in real life, is strong enough to stand by herself, not needing some form of support, because in the real world, people cant depend on others, because u will never know what those others will do, leave u, hate you, hurt you, love u, ect u get my point. but as i was trying to say, having someone by your side is the ideal way to go through life, its what everyone believes HAS to happen. but really it dosent. some people live life without ever having that someone by their side. some turn out just fine, others cant cope because of the basic need for a partner, and the wanting to be like everyone else, partners i mean. for right now, i think the pairing thing, others may call it destiny, becoming star crossed, fate, love at first sight, whatever, but right now there is an eight letter word that i believe spells all of this out B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. i mean yeah i might sound like a pretentious hanous b***h but the current situation calls for this type of feeling and acts. when my life is better than it is right now, you'll be hearing a different tune sung out of me. i obviously know that not everyone will find the person that they're gonna marry in fifth grade like cory and tepanga in boy meets world, i know i havent, but thats just a show, not real life. THINGS DONT HAPPEN THAT WAY! they...just... dont....
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