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The Blue

I threw the old notebooks away.
A friend was angry at me for doing so
But he doesn't understand.
I had to throw the notebooks away.
It was time to move on, time
to let the memories fade into blue

Blue like the color of my blood
lacking in oxygen from the cord
wrapped around my neck when I was born
Blue like the blood that flows
through my lungs to fill again
with the oxygen that keeps me alive.
keeps me breathing when i desire to fade away.

to fade into blue...
a deep, dark blue
not a blue for the weak.
not a blue for the sad.
a blue for those who have fallen
into the darkest despair
but have also found complete and total
peace. Peace that only comes when one
releases themselves to fate
and let go of their destiny.

I threw the old notebooks away...
they were filled with memories...
memories that were too blue.
memories that would drown me
in their deep pools of dark blue
for i cannot fade away.
i cannot fade into the blue.
i am bound by my fate
and a slave to my destiny.

I threw the old notebooks away...
for they hold the truth that I cannot face.
the truth of me. my character. my fate
my fate to die alone
my fate to abandon all hope of love
and peace
and my fate to never shape my destiny.
my fate to live in the blue
but never truly fade away.

I had to throw them away.
Because they tie me to the blue
Always lingering, never fading.

I threw the notebooks away...
into the blue.