For them that Have not been around for this I have an old habit of losing a lover and than go looking for someone else to treat as I did my ex. This just ends up being that I dont care for the person or persons I cling to in a I love you romaticly way. Although I do care about them. I have found myself doing this without giving it a second thought. Yet again, I am still not over my break up with Brandy. Infact I still find myself wanting her everytime she walks through a door and I see her. I find myself wishing I was a better lover for her, that I supplied her with alot more freedom, and love than what I did. I found myself thinking why couldn't I deal with her not being as free as me for awhile, soon that day would have come. Why couldn't I find the love in me to try to do better than what I did. Was I honestly that afraid of Loving her that I did what ever it took to push her away? I don't know all that I know is that its over I didn't show her how much I loved her, I failed to show her. oops I went on a rant. NEway I need to be held and comforted is what I feel and I want to be closer than what is allowed. But I will find that later with my new and hopefully full lover for life. To them thatI have miss treated in this way I am sorry I must stop now. please forgive me and I will forget about it, only remembering that it was my mistake for putting feelings out there that should be there if they are not in my heart as well. this is my confession. Love Ya people. bye
Mariasha_Adiana · Sun May 01, 2005 @ 04:39pm · 2 Comments |