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I wrote this to the man, who i loved when i was a lot younger, he is now my husband. it must have been like 4 or 5 years ago, but i found it at my old room at my moms house, where i used to live. it made me kinda depressed and think about all the hard times i had, when i wanted to die. here it is.....

Why?
Why do we have life?
Why is it that throughout the struggles we still have strife?
Why all the pain?
Why do my eyes always end up shedding tears?
Why do I have so many fears?
Why do children have to die?
God damn why do I even try?
I cant go on, my body and mind no longer want to be alive, into heaven is where I want to take a dive.
So why is the question, why do I continue on?
Why don’t I just take that silver, shiny, cold trigger and pull it?
End it all with just one bullet;
Sometimes I just want to so bad, but I know you would be sad.
Why cant I do it I just wanna die,
But I cant do it cause I know you’ll cry.
So to you my love, my sweet, I want to tell you how you’re the only reason that my heart has a beat…..

crazy huh? damn.

Lil Angel