Urgn...I feel so...frustrated. I just want to rant and hope that this could lighten up my mood a bit.
I hate myself. No, not for my traits, quilities, talent, looks and quirksAs if I have any...
Anyway...I just feel like, I'm cursed or something. Am I forever destined to have some people I hold dear not talk to me and act as if we were strangers?
First it was one of my friends during third grade, just after we got back from Singapore. I mean, they even said it themselves. C'mon...best friends forever...its like I don't want to believe in that stuff anymore.
Then two in-game friends of mine, who probably don't know who the other (so they couldn't have probably ganged up on me and make me this miserable...I miss talking to them) stopped talking to me.We used to talk about so much things (never personal ones...I'm not stupid)...even helped me improve in a way
And then another friend I've met during fifth grade. We got kinda close after the journalism competition. The first one was only three days while the second one took a whole week. Fine, I'll admit we didn't really become close friends but...talk...all I want is to talk~!!
I feel so miserable. Am I really that hate-able that people don't want to talk to me? (ps...all of them were boys...weird, huh?) I didn't even do anything drastic or say anything to offend them that much. Maybe I'm just really a bad person.
All I just want is for them to tell me that they don't want to be friends with me anymore, and I'll be uber happy about that, instead of waiting around, thinking of what I might've done wrong. It just hurts...and I don't know why.
All I know is...they've been there for me in a certain part of my life...I just don't want to lose anymore friends. Everytime...I pass by whether it may be their name or them personally...its like another stab in my heart...I don't want to feel this anymore...
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My Little Sanctuary
Thoughts, ideas and fantasies of a little high school girl~
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