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Sometimes I lay in my bed.
Staring at tha celling.
Wonder if I would have become different.
Would I have been dead?
Or somewhere twice as worse?
I reminisce...
about how my days & nights were.
Hell.
The feeling i got when I heard you coming
is indescribables.
I cant begin to say how it felt.
Like my stomach would twist and I would cry.
Knowing what would become of me.
I wish Evan was there.
I wish he wasn't busy.
I wish he was there twice as much.
To hold me & keep me safe.
But he was too busy.
Being High.
Or drunk.
Or something else.
He was too busy. Not realizing what was happening.
Maybe things are brighter. Dimly.
Possibly I smile more.
But I think its because of this boy...
He changed my life.
I don't think he understands how strongly I feel for him.
& I know he doesn't know he saved my life.
I was on the edge...
About to die.
</3
Maybe everything the same except knowing I`m with him.
I hope things will only get better.
I hope I`m not felling like this forever.












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