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I really, really, really hate Santa. Some may think of him as "Jolly Old Saint Nick", but I think of him as a stalker, robber and terrorist. Below is my proof. Please note the song lyrics have NUMBERS before each line. I will be reffering to certain lines throughout this rant. Please refer up to the lyrics or you will be rather lost.
Excerpt from "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
1 He sees you when your sleeping
2 He knows when you're awake
3 He knows if you've been bad or good
4 So be good for goodness sake!
Okay, before I get into the song, I will explain my initial reasons for hating Santa.
The main reason I hate him is because he eats my cookies. For any that know me, cookies are sacred treats. The fact that he runs around willy-nilly eating people's cookies upsets me. Maybe, just maybe, the children left cookies out to eat in the morning so that they didn't have to go AAAALL the way to kitchen before they destroyed the presents. But what does he do? He eats all the cookies because he ASSUMES that they were meant for him. I mean, really now. How many cookies does he eat everyday ayway? Far too many I am guessing.
Another thing that seriously bugs me is that as line 3 states, he knows if I have been bad or good and as line 1 states, he sees me when I am sleeping. If he can see INTO my bedroom and he knows when I am BAD, can't he just plop down with little children's cookies and watch me anytime he pleases? That really upsets me. Like REALLY upsets me. I don't want people watching me in the privvacy of my bedroom. EWAH!
To touch on the Robber and Terrorist bits, shouldn't he be arrested for breaking into my house through the chimney and depositing mysterious packages underneath a highly flamable source? What if he leaves a pipe bomb in the package that is set to detonate when the box is opened. THAT IT A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION RIGHT THERE. Someone should do something about that menace to society.
He doesn't care if I am good for goodness sake! He only cares about coosting millions of lives with wrapped pipe bombs, stealing cookies (that a*****e!), breaking into houses and watching people be bad.
The fact that he doesn't ACTUALLY exist doesn't matter. What does matter is that he is a menace.
 Countess of Connotation · Thu Sep 13, 2007 @ 05:27pm · 2 Comments |
