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Ugh. Hi, I'm Phoenix. Earlier today, I was assaulted by a breed of sub-human known as the 'fake-blond'. They are generally slutty, have fake-looking dyed blond hair, and think they are better than the rest of us. And not just girls. Guys too. (Yes, guys can be slutty, although I think 'perverted' is the term normally used.) Thankfully, I wasn't assaulted by the male type. *shudder*

Scenario 1:

Phoenix is sitting in the park, having a grand ole time with his girlfriend (^_^ heart ), when enters the fake-blondes. Laura (gf) went to go get a drink at the surprisingly clean water fountain. The fbs came up to me and sat on the bench WHERE LAURA HAD BEEN SITTING (seethes) and presume to try and seduce me. It was basically like this:

fb1: So, here all alone?

fb2: Do you...want some company? (At this point she raises a BROWN eyebrow)

Me: No thank you. I'm here with someone. (I stand up and try to walk away towards where Laura is)

fb1: With who? That slut by the water fountain? (Later, I appreciated the hypocrisy, but right now I was just pissed)

Phoenix: Slut? You have a lot of nerve saying that, sluttyclothes.
(I proceed to walk away again)

fb1: Oh my! (She flutters her stupid mascaraed eyelashes and pretends to modestly cover herself. Gag me.) You shouldn't be looking in such inappropriate places...

Phoenix: (My eye is twitching in anger as I refrain from beating the fbs to bloody masses. So, I take out my jolly old cell phone and start dialing a number) That's it. I'm calling the police if you don't leave me alone.

fb2: Uh. Don't be so--

Phoenix: I'm serious. (I hold the phone to them and turn the volume up. It says "You have reached the Police Station, this is Officer Smith..." They back up and leave, sending me disgusted looks)

Laura: (walks up) Who were they?

Phoenix: FBs. (still angry, but calming down)

Laura: (Who had heard and watched the last part) You mean, '******** bitches'? (She smiles sweetly.)

Phoenix: (laughs) Yeah, that too. (She'd known what I'd meant)


--End Scenario--


I hate them. So much.

Oh well. Laura and I got pizza and left the fbs (which now has a multiple meaning) to some other poor sap.
biggrin

Tune in for Part II, coming soon to a journal near YOU! domokun Come, or the domo shall eat you. domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun domokun