Long distance relationships, many against them, many for them. It all depends on the persons. Wellll I dunno really the point of this, but I suppose just to see who reads this and comments on their opinion on them I guess. As some of you know about Cody, some don't. I guess the wholeee fact that he lives in Galesburg, Illinois and I Zimmerman, Minnesota is a wet blanket on many things. But it also is a nice opener for other things.
It is heart achingly hard to deal with the fact that I haven't ever seen him or been able to give him a simple hug. But I've known him for over two years now and it's safe to say he knows more about me then all of my past relatioships into one because of the lack of physical contact.
Now I am not trying to talk bad about you guys who I have had a relationship with, but most of you know I was young when I fell into a bad pattern that has tainted my mind and wishes. Along with closer relationships that have pushed me over the end of getting to the point where I need to say enough is infact enough. Well, I guess I thank the whole meeting Cody on the nets because I have been able to meet[by I mean come accross one another] and know him without the physical side of things.
I now have a harder time dealing with because I feel I was too young to endure what I did, even though it wasn't much it still makes me sick that I myself did that and let that happen when subconsciencly I didn't want to. I just thought it was the right thing to do, as most girls or guys my age thing it is. I guess because I did those things before I was ready really dampered many things. But Cody I am able to talk to about anything and not worry about when we do meet the feeling of he just wants what I feel and may not be true at all, but how I felt and see it, that everyone just wanted to get into my pants because they never asked me things or thought to know what makes my mind tick. Lust was proven to be a terrible thing before time was ready and now that I have abused it in the past I am no longer capable of letting that happen because I now am able to say no!
But I know that I won't be in any relationship with anyone close to me because I am well, I love Cody. Sure it may seem to be absured because he and I have never met, but we know each other because all we have is talking over the phoner or internet. I think that is what many people lack in sometimes, especially younger kids like I was. The lack of comunication and now that I have pondered on it, I guess I feel that I am now ready for a long term relationship then I have ever been because of meeting Cody through the internet. I know it doesn't always work out for some, but it changes from person to person; everyone is different [durh]. I just think it's silly for people to always say things won't work because you met over the internet or through snailmail somehow when it takes two people, those two people to decide to make it work, not everyone else.
I guess for those who laugh at it just don't see my point because they have either found the person they may love or have feelings for near them. Not to bash anyone, but when I think about that, not a single person comes to mind really, but it could change, I just don't think so. I guess I am just ranting about it, but heh, it's a blog :} I am just happy, I'm comfortable with Cody more then I have ever been with anyone else and I love it. Twoooo years have gone by, it's neat really. I just think it's silly when people laugh and say it will never work, well with this type of deal it's about pactients and time. Sure there are times where all I want to do is say I can't take it anymore but then I remember at how he makes me feel and I know that when the time comes it will be right :}
Though I should mention, we aren't offically 'dating' both of us agree it's kinda sillly I mean, we love each other but we haven't met and been able to hangout so it would be a little weird to be 'dating'. We are together, but yet we aren't. We both can choose to see other people as we wish, but neither of us want to, if that makes sense. Because personally it is justtt really stupid to date and be an offcial couple if there isn't anything there other than convorsation not that I don't like that. But yeah, we can't see each other, so we wait until it's time. When we are together, then we are together in Cody's own words. Soo for us, it's more like internet meeting then dating? XD But yeah, you get my point.
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