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it's.... official.

i really AM ******** killing myself, and ********, even if i dont even MEAN it, i am.

i don't mean this to sound all like... emo and like "lookit me, i'm killin mahself", but like... idk, srsly, fallin back into the same stuff.

shyetttt, and more.

maybe, maybe, just maybe, the longer people live, the longer that they die a little more inside.

that means.... 16 1/2 yrs spent dyin for me. WOW.

wonder where i'll be in like another five... IF that.

i mean, i try and get better, and whoa okay, must sound like some big a** therapy session, I DO!!!!!!!!! and i did last night too and didn't even give in this time to it.

hmmnn.... i must sound psycho.

but srsly i need helpppppppppp, and not from the goddamn cousnelors--- had another bad drem about them LASTN IGHT lol there they were bein all bitchy-bitchy-preach-preach on me. ********.

hmmnn.... well mabe i DO need someone like that.






























NAH!