This is going out to one guy. You told me we were going to get back together, you told me you loved me and I was the girl you wanted to be with. I actually believed this was true. Then you went away for the weekend, I don't know what happened in this weekend because I saw you the day you left and you were fine you still wanted to be with me. But then you came back and told me that you didn't anymore. You know that broke my heart, it's good that were still friends but it's hard to look at you and know you don't look at me the same way. I loved you will all my heart, I don't know why but even after all of this I still love you. It's killing me because I know we're not going to get back together, as hard as it is for me to accept it, it's true and eventually I will accept it. I don't know why I still pray for you to come back when I know you won't, but my brain can't tell my heart what to do, I gave my heart to you. You said it yourself, you won't find another love like ours and all those things you said and wrote to me just break my heart now because they were all lies. Here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to remain your friend because I know that's all we'll ever be, I can't say I won't love you because I can't lie, I'm going to be happy for you and what ever happens to you (new girl, school, job etc..) because I love you and your my friend and that's all I ever wanted for you. But if one day you decide you want to be with me and you're ready to love me for real then I'll be here, unless it's years from now then I can't promise anything sweatdrop . But just know that you will always be in my heart and I will always remember you as the best guy I ever dated, the best boyfriend I ever had or will have who treated me like a little Princess. Deep inside I know my heart will be praying and hoping for you to come back but I can't stop that. Also, you told me to go up to the people I have wronged and try to make it right, well my first was my family and I did what I could, my second is you. But we'll talk about that when I see you. I just want the best for you alright that's what you deserve, you've had a hard past and I haven't made it any easier, but you deserve the best future...with the best wife and the best kids and the best job and the best life. Well anyway if I have anymore to say I will add it, I hope you read this and I hope you don't mind me writing all of this (if you do let me know.). I just thought you should know this (though you probly know most of it.). Well Love You Lots (as a friend I guess).
Your Friend Forever Steph
p.s. Please unblock me from your MSN. You were all I could've asked for in a guy and so much more. You are the best guy i've evere known. Thank you for everything you've given me I will never forget it and especially I will never forget YOU!
At the end of the day I ask myself this everyday...Should I smile because you my friend or cry because that's all we'll ever be????
Joshs Princess · Thu Jul 14, 2005 @ 08:33pm · 1 Comments |