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You're complaining about Falcon's Final Smash?

Jesus Christ, are you a ******** idiot? It's just as...no, MORE superior than his Falcon Punch.

He's not just punching you. No, that'd be too nice of a fate for you. No, he gets into his car, RUNS YOU THE ******** OVER, and leaves you in the middle of the ******** street. You're bruised, bones broken, bleeding. You hear him speed off, and whimper as you lay there on the asphalt in immense pain. Time goes by, and as you try to move you hear the sound of an engine over the horizon. Joy fills your heart as you think it's a kind samaritan, come to your aid. You struggle to your feet to flag the driver down, but your joy soon turns to utter. ********. Terror. For as the roar of the engine rises over the hill, that glint of blue fills your vision.

It's Captain ******** Falcon.

And he's heading right ******** for you.

You quickly try to hobble out of his path, but he's too quick, his car swerving to stay in line with you. As he draws nearer and nearer, you hear his maniacal laughter, further driving that spike of sheer absolute fear into your heart. Right before the moment of impact, you hear him yell out, "SHOW ME YA MOVES!"

AND THEN HE ******** RUNS YOU OVER. AGAIN. JESUS ********.

No, it's not enough that you get run over once. He does it TWICE. To make SURE that you're dead. Now you're on the brink of death, Captain Falcon is laughing into the breeze as he speeds away back to the battle, as you lay there in a gory pile of split flesh, and shattered bones, tire tracks left over your body. Yes. Tire tracks.

CAPTAIN FALCON IS SO ******** BADASS THAT WHEN HE RUNS YOU OVER, HE LEAVES GODDAMN TIRE TREADS EVEN THOUGH HIS ******** CAR HAS NO. ********. TIRES.

********.