....was really weird and still kinda is. I started the day of being a little pissed since Mariku didn't show up and I thought he was skipping, so I spent my first two periods being pissed off, then I had class with Ryou we talked about something or other then Mariku showed up, so I wasn't pissed instead I suddenly just got really really up-set and had a break down. Something that I haven't had in a very long time. I couldn't even really figuer out waht caused it, just suddenly I felt like crap and wanted scream and cry and punch something....Instead I ripped some paper up and spent my 4th period in the nurses office talking to here. I can't really rememeber what I did in 5th and in 6th I was with Mariku so I was better.....at lest I thought I was all better, but now after sitting in the dewing room with Ryou for only a short period of time I relize I'm not.....I feel kinda run down, even if I have no reacon to. I feel overwelmned with the concert and AB coming up. I mean I still havn't finished my pants. Ryou and I tryed to start on them, but Ryou was really tired and I felt bad making him help me.....so we left the room. I think Ryou's sleeping on the couch and I'm typing...(duh)
So basicly things feel really out of controll right now and I hate it...I'm pissed and up-set, but mostly pissed because I'm up-set.....does that make any sense? I don't really think it does, but that is how I feel. I want to just sit and cry some were, but I'm not going to. I'm going to keep going along get threw the concert and AB and then maybe I'll cry......but right now I have to worry about getting my costum finished and things like that! I don't have time to be up-set and I need to get my grades back up and gods there is to much for me to do for me to get up-set! I'll just write something to make me feel better.
Thats remind me, I just filled out my sheet for next years classes and I'm taking three English courses, Accounting 2, three Social Studies and one mucis class! My year is going to be so easy, but I don't want to get out early like the rest of my class. I rather stay in school so I don't have to face the realy world yet, because it's not going to let me slack off and go to conserts and conventions. The real world is a mean place and I'm not ready for it yet! I'll more then likely never be ready for it and thats why thinking about anything more then a day inadvntces freaks me out! I'm just not ready yet and I can't see why others are so ready.....Maybe I'm just going to be a loser the rest of my life.....*sigh* Well there is nothing I can do about it....I'll have to face it someday, but as for right now I'm going to cling to the life I'm living right now more then anything!
Baku -- Bunny · Fri Mar 07, 2008 @ 11:24pm · 1 Comments |