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Things are calming down (at least for today). There is hope and light at the end of the tunnel!!!! The judge is willing to hear our case once the paternity testing comes back (if positive). The only problem is having enough money for legal help. Right now I don't have $2500 to do this. We get the test results back anywhere from this Thursday until next Tuesday (up to one week from today). We are both excited and scared that it's gonna be a no go. Jesse feels alot of guilt about not being there for Christopher plus he has been around Jessy since he was born and he feels that he would like to continue to be there for him in the future, but the only way that's gonna happen is if he is blood related to him. Very frustrating indeed. We both want to kill Treava for just being a terrible person to her kids. I think Jesse feels that if we can get custody of Jessy then he can somehow have the chance he missed out on with Christopher. I understand where he's coming from. Everyday I miss my kids very bad, and it doesn't help that one seems to hate my guts.

When we go to visit CA in March we are going to hire some legal help to have Chris send Alex to visit. We are willing to do whatever it takes to get this to happen (homestudy, which will have to be done for Jessy anyway, drug testing, etc etc etc). I am thinking of talking to the same guy who Shawnie hired to get his kids back.

We'll see how this goes.