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Today I found out something that made me extremely sad. Katasha has been so busy and her family thinks that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go out there to see her. Partially because they wouldn't have time to see to it that I had a place to stay or how I would get around. I want to see her so badly that I would give up my life If I could see her for just a few days. I guess this is a way to make sure that our love is strong and pure. I will wait as long as I have to but hopefully it won't be too long before I am with her because everyday it gets harder and harder to try and keep busy so I am not so depressed. And as of now it is not working. Today when I read that she thought it wasn't a good idea that I didn't go out there It felt like my heart had been ripped out. She thinks that all the pain I have ever felt lately is because of her. I just hope that she doesn't thinks to hard about that and I hope that she doesn't decide to break up because she feels bad because of it. If that happened I don't think I would date for a long time because it seems that once I fall for someone deeply things go wrong. I keep telling her I love her and I worry because she thinks that I am too good for her when that is completely wrong. I love her so much and just long to be with her. crying I hate being apart from her and hope that the time will fly by until her birthday so I can be with her. I love her so much and just miss her. having to wait really sucks and I know that it is breaking her heart having to be apart from me as well.