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scream I hate life so much right now. I just don't care anymore. The only thing that is keeping me going right now is family friends and the woman I love Katasha. Cause as of right now my life officially sucks and I hate it. I just want to drive my car into a tree or something. I just don't know anymore. The only thing keeping me from suicide is the fact that I promised a few of my really good friends, my parents and Katasha. if I didn't have any of them right now I would say ******** it and I would just do something crazy. The week started out bad and seems to be getting worse. First my insurance company ******** up on some paper work and then they closed my account so I have no insurance and to fix the problem I have to pay 45 dollars for a processing fee and I have to pay to get it started back up. However my brother had the money to lend me and I was going to be able to get that taken care of and pay a little bit on my car however now I am not going to be able to, because he went and spent it because he forgot about lending me the money. so now my car payment is late and I have no insurance. The one thing i was looking forward more than anything was being able to be with the woman I love around a month before my birthday, however when she told her parents what she was doing they said they would let her go but she couldn't come home because they would basically disown her. So she is not coming out here. cry then today at work after being there around 10 minutes I was working and the managers called me in and said that they thought that the days where I came in sick they thought I was stoned and because of that and how productive I was on those days they were taking me off the cook line and basically putting me in the worse job for work there. so now my whole week completely sucks. I say if there's a god then why the hell is he putting me through such hell. If there is a god then I say ******** him. I am busting my a** doing everything right in life and yet I am getting screwed over. If this is a test then he better ******** pass me because so far I have still done everything right and all because I don't break the law and yet people who break it everyday get to live like kings where I have to live like s**t now. I just hate life and sick of it. I don't even care about college anymore now. I am seriously thinking about dropping out and just working two jobs and as soon as I get the money saved up and a bunch extra then I will be going to Hawaii and go to college out there instead and getting away from all the hell here. I am so sick of life and if I didn't have so many people I promised then I would end it all right now but I am going to fight and just say ******** you to whoever gets in my way now. I am going to do everything I can to be with Katasha, and still stay within the law. However right now everything in my perspective has changed I am still a gentleman but I am one who will not be ******** with anymore. I am going to use my anger and frustration to get the things I want in life now. If I have to take up boxing and box for money then so be it. evil