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I'm depressed more than ever over here cause I have like a week left until I leave for AZ. I don't know what to expect at my new school. I think I'm even scared...scared to leave the house I lived in my whole life, scared to leave my best friend I knew so long, scared to attend a school without friends near my side, scared to go to court and tell the judge who I want to live with. I know I have to be brave but I feel so weak emotionally and literally. By literally I mean that I've been almost ever other night or so and I'm so tired right now but if I went to sleep just yet my dad would for sure know I wasn't slepping at night. And I think you know what I mean by emotionally. I know it's not healthy but I don't seem to care anymore. I don't seem to care about anything. When I get to AZ I'll probably won't make any friends cause I'm not good at that. I'm so depressed...I'm constantly looking at my wrists to look at my scars. There's nothing there but I can still see and feel them. If you looked at them right now you'd probably think I never did it before. But I know it happened. I'm trying really hard not to think about it or even glance at my wrists. It wouldn't be fair to me, my family or Arielle cause I think she took it the hardest when I told her I did that before. I could tell she was so disappointed at me. It's just that my life's going down the drain...and I have to stand there watching it not even bothering to plug up the tub. It might sound corny but it's true.