Okay, Starsy is very nearly emo right now...
It's about 2:11 a.m. where I am, and I haven't heard from Haters all weekend. I was sitting around with Fuufy, my partner in crime/yaoi buddy/only other female I'll really sit down with for more than ten minutes, and she told me that Haters had dropped by RB and spoken with her briefly before having to leave again. Chaps my a** a little, because I floated about there all day, then took a 15 minute break to eat, and when I came back, he'd been and gone.
Yeah, I'm suffering withdrawal, and I look like a sad and pathetic girlfriend, the kind that threatens to dive off of rooftops or set fire to the apartment just for attention. But I don't get to sit and talk with Haters often, so it kind of upsets me when I don't get to see him at least once a day. Our little visits with each other on RB hardly ever last long.
He has a social life and a family and school. I don't. So I guess I've grown kind of dependant on him and the others for human interactiong.
But now that I know why he's been gone all weekend, Haters doesn't seem to matter suddenly. For once, I'm pretty sure he doesn't care, either, because if he were reading this, he would already know why. He's there, I'm not, and he's probably taking it harder than I am, but anyway....
Dante is in the hospital for now. Broke his arm somehow, had to have surgery. I don't know all the details, but I do know that I didn't see Haters or Saints because they stayed the night at the hospital with him. And right now, I really wish I could be there for him too, like that. I can't, and it bugs the living arse off of me.
Me and Dante, we don't talk a lot. He's just kind of that cool, other guy that follows Haters into the room once in a while. I usually end up tackling him, which results in me getting a hug but also being picked up and spun around. Then I end up hitting him, and verbally abusing him and so on, and he just kind of laughs, like he thinks it's cute or something, even though he probably knows that just bugs me, when people treat me like I'm cute.
We're not as close as I'd like to hope we could be. He's Saints' brother, and Haters' best friend, and sometimes when they're all together there, I can feel the difference between me and him. I can tell that I have Haters' trust, and I know that Saints must trust me too, because she's always letting me bribe her into getting Haters online and trying to keep me calm.
But there's a gap there between me and Dante. Haters and Saints don't feel it, and I don't know if he does either, but I do. It kind of bothers me, because I can talk easily with Haters and Saints, but with Dante, it feels more like I'm just supposed to smile and nod when he's around... I don't know how to approach him with anything.
But damn it, I care about the guy! I care well enough to think of him like a big brother, only better than my big brother. My big brother smokes and drinks and has problems with putting up with me. Like he can't take my level of humor, which is often quite loud, quite perverse, and often a little more than sarcastic.
Dante, on the other hand, I could launch a Haters-bunny at, and then get a hilarious situation out of. (I need to quit throwing my hubby, don't I? It can't be good for him...) I feel close enough to him to trust that he knows when I'm serious and when I'm not, and I'm close enough that it bothers me to know that he's had to go through a broken arm and surgery. Just knowing he broke his arm is enough to make me wanna climb through the computer after him, but hearing about surgery...
Damn it, I want my Dante!!!
Starsy wants her Dante-aniki, like, NAO!!!
******** all this prom stuff, and ******** sitting here and spilling out my feelings for the rest of Gaia, and ******** just having to sit here and do nothing!! I want my ********' Dante-aniki, and I want him RIGHT ********' NOW!!! *conniption*
Pretty P r i n c e y · Mon May 05, 2008 @ 07:32am · 0 Comments |