So I'm down to the final 2 days before my boy comes back home smile I feel like we're repeating the first couple days he was away because I haven't been able to talk to him the past 2 days except for one e-mail and one 2 or 3 minute conversation, which can hardly be counted as a conversation at all. I had enough time to ask him if his host family was nice before he had to go. I was expecting to have an email from him this morning, like I did yesterday morning, but there was nothing. And I was hoping he would be on for a little longer than the time he was on yesterday evening, but still nothing. I know he's probably busy and he probably stayed out late last night, but it would still be nice to have even a short email. I just feel like he's not trying as hard as I would like him to. I mean, I wait for him to get on for several hours just so I can talk to him. I know that sounds desperate or obsessive, but he just makes my days so much happier. He's my drug. Seriously. Yesterday when I saw his name pop up when he got online, I just got an instant high. My heart did a flip, I felt like I was on cloud 9. Then when he said he had to leave, I crashed. Hard. I went from instantly happy to close to tears in less than a second. It was bizarre. I just want to talk to him whenever I can, I know that isn't possible right now but I just want at least an email a day. Am I expecting too much? I don't really think it's too much to ask to have even 1 short email a day. I just want to know how his days are and all that jazz. I know I'll probably hear all about it when he gets back, but if I have the chance to talk to him now, I want to use that chance rather than throw that away. I'm just hoping he's not avoiding me on purpose. I don't really think he is, but I always think of the worst in a situation, no matter what it is. I admit that a couple times today it did cross my mind that maybe there was an aftershock earthquake from that huge one in China 2 weeks ago and he was somehow caught in it. Of course I know the likely hood of this happening is very slim, it's just my imagination running away with me. It likes to do that. I just hope this time passes quickly. I'm losing it right now.
BenchWench · Sun Jun 01, 2008 @ 03:46am · 0 Comments |