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this is begining one of the worst summers of my life, I've only ever had two others that have close to how miserble this one is being, the first one was when my first boyfriend dumbed my I was extremally sad but I still was going back to highschool in a month or so and I would be a senior and had hope that we would get back together, or I would meet someone else, or I would go away to college and forget all about everything. that was 3 years ago and I still can't get it out of my head,. the other summer had been when my dads twin bother died which was every sad for the people around me I don't really remember feeling anything I don't seem to feel much when people die, and I was still a child then. Mumm... I miss christmas when your a child and still feel that there is magic a everything in the world all the time, when your nieve to to the existence of the really world,... I can't wait for winter

this summer i have to get my drivers liecnce my permint exspirors in about two weeks I have my test at about that time,... I'm really scared, I've been learning how to drive from my mother for about the last 3 years, and everytime I go to drive she still freaks out. then the other day she said she wished I had taken Driving lessons and basically I'm not a very good driver, so all I've been doing for the last 2 weeks is driving around with a screamy nerves women, in a car that over heats every 15 mins. the sad thing is I don't care that much about it anymore, it's just that I have to do it. sad

I have been taking fitness classes and trying to workout because I am really sick of being lonely and would like to have some one someday(if it is physical possiable) find me attractive,. Self imposed torcure sucks!! sad

My mom won't stop nagging at me. I have to take college classes in the fall and start a new job niether one of which I'm every excited about, the thrill of a new college class has long ago lost it's apill, new I just always feel like I don't know want I am doing but don't know what else to do. sad

I need to have some fun,
S.O.S. Somebody Resque me