|
long walks in the park.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
There are many things on my mind right now. i sometimes wonder, how did i get here? i wonder a lot about my past....i mean is it true that my past makes me who i am today??? i guess it is, i mean since i saw david's friend shot, and dealt with david himself...i mean...speaking of david, he saved me from a lot of stuff that could have happened if he hadn't said or done what he did...i so will not forget when my house got tagged, and i the look david got when i told him...it was like, they had taken it too far. wierd that he protected me. he cheated on his fiancee with me, if you call her knowing and not caring cheating. i mean to me it was.
so that would be the needing to feel safe around people, i didn't have that before. i know for a complete fact that my hatred for drugs, dealers and stoners, that for sure came from thor and steven. god, it pisses me off just to think of that boy. so what happens when you trust people that you know that you shouldn't trust for the life of you....cuz it will eventually cost you your life...in the long run if torrey doesn't get caught, some part of his body will eventually fail, and what really really truely sucks...is the time I wasted with him. wishing he would be "the one" yet so knowing the oppisite.
hmmm, is there some way to maybe erase my past and still be me? i mean my mother and father shaped me the be the person i am now, i don't think i would even be here if i had to erase Emily, oh god. how many times has she saved my a**. i love her like no other and completely owe her so much...i guess i pay for that by worrying my a** of.
to more honest, i really have been wishing for my dream....my dream. ha. i have always wanted to have a baby grand piano in the middle of a field, of just grass and wildflowers. it would be a sunny day, and i would be wearing a white dress, the peasant type. i close my eyes and open my palms and as i walk to the piano, the grasses and wildflowers brush against my hands, i positively love that feeling, and there are wispy clouds, and a gorgeous sun, and i would just love to sit and play, just play, and watch the bugs, butterfies and dragonfies, and all the others...
i don't know. i mean something like that is impossible. so ya. i guess i done for now.
shoot me down but i will return,
kill my heart and you won't see me again.
 ashtii26 · Fri Aug 15, 2008 @ 04:14am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
