oh man...i miss sean. nothing new, i know, but...it's really getting to me lately. i talk to him almost every night, and i guess that makes it a little better knowing he hasn't forgotten me or anything, but it doesn't help when my school is affection central. you can't turn a corner without seeing people hugging or making out or holding hands. i remember what it was like having someone around all the time to do that stuff with...it was nice, even though i always complained that he was clingy or over-affectionate. i found out last night that he carries this photo of me and him in his booksack all the time, and, god...that just about made me cry. i miss him so much. i don't even want to do any of that sick, dirty stuff we always did...i just want to hug him or hear his voice or be able to touch him. i remember all those times we went to the park after begging our parents to let us go, and that was like an escape from the real world for about two hours. we could just focus on each other for that short time, and everything bad about the week would just disappear...i remember how he used to lift me up on his shoulders and how awesome it was. you could see for miles, i'm not kidding. and all those times we went out in the woods, or just the simple stuff like sitting on the couch next to him in his living room and laughing while his little cousins acted like maniacs. it seems unreal now...like a really good daydream. and you know, i probably shouldn't be posting this for all of gaia to read...but what the hell, it seems the only time any of us are happy any more is when we read each others' bitching and comment on it.
Brittastiq · Sun Sep 11, 2005 @ 07:27am · 0 Comments |