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And I do have the guts. Mostly.

1.) What's your real name? I hate it so much I won't say, but my middle name is Marin. Really

2.) What state do you live in? Missouri

3.) Are you a virgin? Sadly.

4.) If not, are you happy with the person you gave it up to? I wish

5.) If you're still a virgin, how would you like to give it up and why? With someone like all my friends' boyfriends. Why? Because I hate not getting what sex is like

6.) What's your biggest fetish and why? The loner guy with a past. I dunno why! I REAAALLY love shy people. Even girls.

7.) Do you think you unconciously connect it to something from your childhood? I'm not sure

8.) What do you hate most about yourself? How high maintenence I am

9.) Why? It scares a lot of people off

10.) What happened to make you hate that aspect of yourself? People would not like me because I'm sometimes hard to handle

11.) What is your religion if you have one? I am not sure

12.) Why do you choose to worship in said way? ((if you don't have a sepcified religion, what would you like to believe?)) I don't know

13.) Do you worship because it gives you hope? Or perhaps meaning to your life? (( Once again if you do not have a religion, why don't you have one?)) I don't know

14.) Honestly, has the thought ever crossed your mind that God has abandoned you? Oh yes. A lot. but then I look at my friends and so ****, I got it easy.

15.) If so, are you ashamed of said thought? Nah, everyone I know has thought it.

16.) What do you think your meaning is in this life? I'm not sure life has a meaning at all.

17.) What if there is no meaning? Then why are we here? THAT'S the burning question.

18.) Does that scare you? A little.

19.) Does that make your life seem pointless? Sometimes.

20.) What's your greatest fear? The apocalypse.

21.) Why? I just don't want everyone to die in some crazy way. Also I have a feeling I'll probably be overlooked during the rapture

22.) Would you ever be willing to face your fear? OH HELL NO!

23.) What happened to make you afraid of that particular thing? My dreams of it I had when I was little I guess.

24.) Would you ever re-live it, to understand why it bothered you so much? Have another apocalypse dream? OK why not. They aren't as bad as they seem.

25.) What are you afraid of losing? my family

26.) Why? I love them.

27.) Would it make you feel alone in this world? yes

28.) Do you believe you're ugly on the inside? I'm not sure

29.) If so, why? If not, why not? people say I'm not, but I hate my own personality and If I was 2 people, I wouldn't hang out with myself.

30.) Do you think you truly know and understand yourself? NO! I can't even order my own food at a restaurant. All my friends have to decide things for me.

31.) Does it scare you to know you really might not know who you are? yeah, because I'm graduating this year and have no idea what to do after.

32.) Does the thought scare you that someday you might find someone who wants to know everything about you? not really, escept for the fact that I won't know it all.

33.) If it does, why? If it doesn't, why not? I kinda explained that

34.) Do you truly believe you have nothing to hide? I'm not sure

35.) If so, tell me the most horrible thing you've ever done and why.
If not, why are you so ashamed of it that you think you must hide it? All the biggest regrets I have are really stupid things I've done.

36.) Does it bother you that eventually you will die? sometimes.

37.) Have you said everything you want to say to those you know before you die? I don't think so

38.) Does it scare you that you might not get to tell those you love how much they matter to you before you die? Yes.

39.) What do you think you'd be like if you lost total control of your temper? I've done it. I can get crazy

40.) If you're not sure, does that scare you? If you have lost total control of your temper, are you ashamed of how you got? maybe a little

God this is slightly uncomfortable.

41.) At the same time, do you really want to just lose your temper? on some people

42.) Is the thought of doing so liberating in some way? a bit

43.) Have you ever had suicidal thoughts or feelings? I have depression that I take pills for, so yeah.

44.) If so, why? If not, what do you think about suicide? Everything went wrong in 6th grade

45.) Have you ever partook in self-mutilation? people say that stupid stuff like poking yourself really hard with a pen and hitting your head on walls repeatedly is self mutilation, and I've done my fair share of things like that.

46.) If so, does/did it give you some sick pleasure?
If not, does it disturb you? Why? I don't know.

47.) Do you believe it's some how silghtly fascinating how one person can hate something so much that they take their own life or hurt themselves? kinda yeah

48.) What do you think compels them to look so much at the bad in their life? It's probably because of their parents, that's what seems to be the root cause in everyone I know's problems

49.) Do you like to act 'tough' online? occasionally.

50.) Does it give you some kind of self-satisfaction? No, in the end I feel MORE like a loser.

51.) Why do you feel the need to act that way? If you don't, why do you THINK people feel the need to act as such? I don't now, just in real life I'm a real wimp.

52.) Do you have a low self-esteem? There needs to be a lever lower than hell. That's where my self esteem sits.

53.) If so, why? If not, why? I've been picked on a lot more than the average person, and I have a bad habit of taking things to personally.

54.) What would it take to lower your self-esteem? oh not much

55.) Would you take some form of pleasure from it? no.

56.) Do you sometimes secretly like being humiliated? no.

57.) Do you think you would ever like being sexually humiliated? probably not.

58.) If so, is it because you feel guilty of WANTING such a thing? If not, would you like so sexually humiliated someone else? huh?

59.) Does the thought of being weak and powerless and completely at someone else's mercy thrill you, scare you,...or both? a bit of both, but mostly scare...well it depends on the person.

60.) Why? I'm not sure

61.) Do you think gaia allows you to be who you want to be? not 100%

62.) If so, do you act different on here than in real life? I use better grammar when I type.
If not, why?

63.) Why do you think so many people are dedicated to gaia? Because people are lonely. like I get.

64.) Do you think perhaps all gaians are desperate for a way to express themselves? Not always.

65.) Why do YOU like gaia so much? I'm not sure. I left it and just felt like I needed to come back because everyone ignores me on every other site.

66.) Do you enjoy that you can act however you want because people don't know who you really are? sometimes. But then I feel like a liar.

67.) Would you act the same if everyone on here knew you in real life? Probably.

68.) Would you act different? Probably not.

69.) Does the key board give you a sense of power? I'm not sure.

70.) Does it make you feel like you can say whatever you want? sometimes.

71.) Would you say something you've said on gaia to someone's face? it depends on what I said.

72.) Do you think people can say inconsiderate things on gaia because they don't know the person behind the avatar so to speak? Sometimes I do.

73.) Do YOU care that there's a person behind the avatar with feelings just like you? yes. unless they treat me like I am not a person behind the avatar with feelings.

74.) Do you think some people act like sluts on here because it boosts their self-esteem? I think it's because their self esteem is really low.

75.) Do you think they actually act like that in real life? This girl I knew who was a total slut on here was an uber slutty b*tch in real life, so yeah, sometimes.

76.) Do YOU ever act like a slut on gaia? I act like a clut in real life, so obviously.

77.) If so, why? Because I just act like that
If not, would you ever?

78.) Are you a different person in real life? Not really.

79.) If so, why do you feel the need to act differently on here? I'm actually more brave on the net. I wouldn't say half this stuff in front of my school.
If not, are you truly THAT unafraid of what people may think?

80.) Do you crave attention at times? Oh yes.

81.) If so, why? Does it make you feel important? I get lonely and I feel like nobody cares sometimes.
If not, why not? Are you afraid if people notice you they'll hurt you?

82.) Does the thought of being absolutely alone scare you? yes. very much.

83.) If so, why? I hate being by myself for very long. Me being in this room and the only one awake is already making me depressingly lonely.
If not, do you CRAVE to be alone?

84.) Do you consider yourself attractive? I don't think so, but other people say I am
If so, why? If not, why not? I don't like my looks and I hate my personality. Except for the kind part.

85.) If every member of gaia was assembled in an auditorium, would you stand up infront of them all and answer these questions truthfully? probably not.