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West Jet Laughs (These are good - esp. the last one)]
> **West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary****, > ****Alberta . West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the > in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.
> Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:** > > *On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you just sit > where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time > choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're > not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"* > > *-----------------------* > > *On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant > crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising > altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your
> comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."* > > *------------------------* > > *On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your > belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's > something we'd like to have."* > > *------------------------* > > *"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways > out of this airplane."* > > *-----------------------* > > *"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us
> the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."* > > *---------------------------* > > *As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the **Vancouver > Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. > WHOA!"* > > *-------------------------* > > *After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a
> flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care > when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like > that, sure as hell everything has shifted."* > > *-----------------------* > > *From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight > 245 to **Calgary . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab > into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat > belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably > shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."* > > *---------------------* > > *"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend > from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
> face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask > before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one > small child, pick your favorite."* > > *-----------------------* > > *Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
> we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and > remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet > Airlines."* > > *------------------------* > > *"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an
> emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our > compliments."* > > *-----------------------* > > *"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. > Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight > attendants.. Please do not leave children or spouses."* > > *---------------------------* > > *And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is > pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in
> the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"* > > *-----------------------------* > > *Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in > **Edmonton > : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a > bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it > wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't > the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."* > > *------------------------------* > > *Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into **Regina , on a > particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the > Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard > landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to > Regina . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened > while the Captain taxis what's left** **of our airplane to** **the > gate!"* > > *------------------------------* > > *Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: > "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to > the > terminal."* > > *---------------------* > > *An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
> his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which > required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers > exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He > said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking > the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart > comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady > walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a > question?" * > > *"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" * > > *The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"* > > *-------------------* > > *After a real crusher of a landing in **Halifax** **, the attendant > came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
> Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching > halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the > warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick > your way through the wreckage to the terminal."* > > *-----------------------* > > *Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to > thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get > the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized > metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."* > > *-----------------------* > > *Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you > wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If
> you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."* > > *-----------------------* > > *A plane was taking off from the **Winnipeg Airport . After it reached
> a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over
> the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. > Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal , The
> weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and > uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"* > > *Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on > the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I > scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant > accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the
> front of my pants!" * > > *A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back
> of mine!"*
Deaths_Cousin · Mon Sep 26, 2005 @ 07:31pm · 0 Comments |
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