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WHY!?
Why do I keep trying to have a life when I know that it will never be? Is it because I have been socially isolated for the past 7 years? I don’t know what to do anymore with myself. I want to do things with other people, but the rest of my family could, and do, care less. The only thing that they care about is Cub/Boy Scouts, school, or the house itself. I try to do things like watch anime, but because most of them come on late, my selections are diminished to Poke’mon, Yu-Gi-Oh! (No offense), and DBZ, witch I have seen so many times that I may go nuts. I ENVY ANYONE WHO GETS TO WATCH ANIME WHEN THEY WANT, DO WHAT THE LIKE (Like hanging out at the mall), AND ACTUALLY HAVE LIVES! And the thing is, I’m 15 and going to be 16 in January, but I’ve only now started to have a life and no one cares about it! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WWWHHHYYYYYYYY!? I GUESS ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE THE BEST OF IT TILL I MOVE OUT OR DIE (AND DIEING IS BEGINNING TO LOOK REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW). With Gaia, I can only get on at school during my computer classes, which is every other day. And since I have nothing good to do during the weekend, I’m stuck in my room, alone, with no connections to the outside world whatsoever. I wish I could do more with my life, but still, NO ONE CARES!! I’m tired of this going on, week after week, month after month, YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!!! I guess all this bitching is pointless, but right now I’m looking for help. If anyone can give me some advice on what to do. What to tell my parents, and how to make what I have better. I never really had a purpose to do anything in my life until exactly one year ago tomorrow. That’s when I met Jenny(aka Minimew), the first person I really started to cared about. In a sense, she is the reason I’m still here, still breathing. She’s the one I’d do anything for, because she cares about me. She is even almost like me. Something about her just makes me feel cared about, like she’d be there for me if I need her, or vice-versa. I may not see her every day (it’s been about 2 months since I’ve seen her), but just hearing her voice makes me feel better. We may be just friends now, but I hope one day that will all change. Now that I’ve basically gone through what’s been going on with me, I hope to get a better aspect on life for a while. All that I really care about now is being able to see her face again, in person. With that, I leave you all to reflect on this. Send me your advice, your reaction after reading this, and anything else that you may be wondering about this. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Good bye for now.
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