I have this friend... whom made me realize a few things that i've probably said... but want to say agian... or maybe i just thought these things so much... i never really said them at all.
To Sara( the one in texas o.o 'cause i know i know more then one sara):
I just wanted to tell you that i think i'm beginning to hate you. yeah... really. As far as i'm concerned there's nothing i can do or say to you, that can make you feel the pain i did when you cheated on me. Even more so... there's nothing i can do to bring you back to me. For a while i thought that it was all a bad dream. perhaps that's because i was still in disbelief. I guess because the one thing i thought i was close to (your heart) i was way far from. And there's no bother telling me that you love Kay and I both. because quite frankly i don't care. and i dont' beleive you. You said you chose her because she needed you more then i... and all i could think was "so does that mean i don't matter?" for a while i hated her too... but now i just envy i suppose. I hated the fact that you both just figured everything was going to be Ok with me. i hated it more that you thought we could all just be friends. i hated everything about you two. and i still do. I hate you both with such a passion i don't think you could ever understand. But then agian you never did understand anyways. Most people would kick and scream and shout and cry, getting so upset they can't see straight. but for soem reason i can't do that. I guess that's because there's too much angry and hate in me, way to much to deal wtih. too much to release.
but then agian... i guess that's what love does. you fall in love and there seems to be nothing else.
it's hard to beleive that i actually wanted to meet someone like you. A liar.
It's hard to beleive that i shared my everything with you. A backstabber.
Perhaps i'm more concerned with the fact that i hate you so much i never wanna see you agian.
I don't wanna hear an uttered word from you. or of you.
But... i guess that's what another broken heart can do to you
KnivesTG · Mon Oct 10, 2005 @ 01:38am · 0 Comments |