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Well, it's over. I come happily out of art class, ginger comes up to me like, i'm sorry steven wants to break up with you. I just stare at her and she has a little smirk on her face... I don't even know what to say anymore.. Everything i've ever worked for.. you know, when you get in a audition, you get to the top five, but then, they turn you down? well i feel the exact same way... The whole time i was waiting for the youth center bus, i was crying and crying and crying. and all through ballet i was thinking about steven and when i was coming back home, i was thinking about him and when i was watching a movie i thought about him and even now, i'm thinking about him. I don't wanna cry cause then my mom will ask why and what am i supposed to say, the boy i've liked for like the most freaking time just broke up with me? it's not my fault i'm not jewish, it's not my fault i'm shy, but that's not true. when i was going out with jacoby, i talked to him, and allen, i talked to him, but everytime i try talking to steven, i PANIC. Even if it's like"what did you get on your math test?" I just get too nervous! i'm sorry i wasn't the perfect girlfriend. I'm sorry i didn't like makeout with you in the hallways, i'm sorry for not being cc or ginger. I can't change me just for you. I'm sorry people said things like i used you, but if i've been writing emails and putting this in my journal, all you people reading this, you could tell that i WAS NOT using him. Why do people have to be so cruel in the world? I'm just starting to figure that out. I thought i knew everything, but no, life is a long hallway that keeps going and popping out with things and obstucles we have to go through to continue on... Let me give you some advice, if you ever like someone, ALOT, then go for them, cause maybe one day, it might just be too late. I was too late for steven. This was my last chance i got, and now, it's all gone, it's over and it's not coming back again. If only i could have another chance... I really like steven, if you haven't figured that out in all these journal entrys. I wish I could do something, but it's too late. steven is the only boy i've ever cried for, but he will never like me as much as i do him. Good-bye
eMiLyxthexdancer · Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 03:09pm · 2 Comments |
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